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Contents ( 13)
  1. PRAISE FOR THE PLAYS OF NEIL LABUTE
  2. REASONS TO BE PRETTY
  3. IN A DARK DARK HOUSE
  4. WRECKS
  5. FAT PIG
  6. THE MERCY SEAT
  7. THE SHAPE OF THINGS
  8. BASH
  9. ALSO BY NEIL LABUTE
  10. Copyright
  11. Contents
  12. PREFACE
  13. REASONS TO BE HAPPY

That one lands with KENT. He turns quickly but manages to hold his temper—it’s a struggle. You can tell.

KENT Fine. Go.

CARLY I will. I’m going. (Beat.) Nice of you to ask about your daughter …

KENT Sorry, shit! I was gonna …

CARLY Yeah, I bet.

KENT I was too! Fuck, please, don’t be like that, Carly! I’m trying here!

CARLY Ok, then go ahead. Ask something.

KENT Well … not now, I mean … (Beat.) Fine. How’s the baby?

CARLY She’s three.

KENT You know what I mean! Is she alright?

CARLY She’s good. Great, actually.

KENT Yeah?

CARLY Yes, Kent. She’s amazing—she looks like you, which I hate, but luckily you were always good-looking so it oughta be ok. (Beat.) You should ask to see her more … you might know some of this shit.

KENT … I thought you said … that …

CARLY No, I never said don’t see her.

KENT Well, no, but …

CARLY That was never said. Ever. At some point you just stopped trying …

KENT It’s hard. I mean, when … we’re all …

CARLY Whatever. If picking up the phone is hard then yeah, it’s hard. (Checks the clock.) I gotta go.

KENT … but …

CARLY Call me if you wanna spend some time with your daughter.

KENT I will.

CARLY We’ll see.

CARLY heads for the door. KENT calls out as she is going:

KENT … is Greg picking you up?

CARLY stops and turns to her ex. He is quiet but he seems to be a mixture of angry, sad and scared. Like a child.

KENT Steph called me./ And she never calls me.

CARLY … ok …/ So?

KENT Didn’t you think that maybe you should tell me about this at some point?

CARLY I was gonna. At some point.

KENT Yeah? When’s that?

CARLY … when it became anything close to being “your business.”

KENT Listen … (Stops himself.) I’m trying hard not to go off here, ok? I have been doing a lot of work on me as a person—I don’t mean in, like, some faggy way, but—I’ve really been trying lately to get hold of my anger and, and my … taking more of an ownership for my mistakes and shit like that. You haven’t been around me at all but it’s true. I’m doing that now …

CARLY Yeah?

KENT Yes. I even watched a video about it …

CARLY Great. (Beat.) I’ll bet your little girlfriend Crystal is, like, super impressed with you …

KENT Carly, please, fuck! Just gimme a break here … I’m confronting you right now!

CARLY Really? Is that what you’re doing?

KENT Yes! So come on … answer me! Seriously!

CARLY Alright. Fine. (Beat.) Yes, Kent, Greg is picking me up from work. He does that on occasion.

KENT … shit …

CARLY You know why? Because he’s a gentleman, that’s why. He does things for me, not just himself … he considers other people sometimes and even though he’s gotta drive way outta town to where he’s substitute teaching, he still does things like that … so think about that when you’re over at Dunkin’ Donuts this morning without a care in the world …