Chapters (82)
- PRACTICALDEMONKEEPING
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE
- CONTENTS
- Part 1
- SATURDAY NIGHT
- THE BREEZE
- Part 2
- SUNDAY
- PINE COVE
- TRAVIS
- ROBERT
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- THE DJINN’S STORY
- ARRIVAL
- ROBERT
- THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
- 10
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 11
- EFFROM
- 12
- JENNIFER
- Part 3
- SUNDAY NIGHT
- 13
- NIGHTFALL
- 14
- DINNER
- 15
- RACHEL
- 16
- HOWARD
- 17
- BILLY
- 18
- RACHEL
- 19
- JENNY’S HOUSE
- 20
- EFFROM
- 21
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 22
- TRAVIS AND JENNY
- Part 4
- MONDAY
- 23
- RIVERA
- 24
- AUGUSTUS BRINE
- 25
- AMANDA
- 26
- TRAVIS’S STORY
- 27
- AUGUSTUS
- 28
- EFFROM
- 29
- RIVERA
- 30
- JENNY
- 31
- GOOD GUYS
- 32
- THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
- 33
- RIVERA
- 34
- U-PICK-EM
- 35
- BAD GUYS, GOOD GUYS
- 36
- JENNY, ROBERT, RIVERA, AMANDA, TRAVIS, HOWARD, AND THE SPIDER
- 37
- GOOD GUYS
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- About the Author
- PRAISE FORChristopher Moore
- ALSO BYChristopher Moore
- Credits
- Copyright
Brine was sipping from a cup of his special secret roast coffee. The thermos was empty and he was savoring the last full cup. The last cup, perhaps, that he would ever drink. He tried to call up a Zen calm, but it was not forthcoming and he berated himself; trying to think about it pushed it farther from his grasp. “Like trying to bite the teeth,” the Zen proverb went. “There is not only nothing to grasp, but nothing with which to grasp it.” The closest he was going to get to no-mind was to go home and destroy a few million brain cells with a few bottles of winenot an option.
“You are troubled, Augustus Brine.” The Djinn had been silent for over an hour. At the sound of his voice Brine was startled and almost spilled his coffee.
“It’s the car,” Brine said. “What if the demon is in the car? There’s no way to know.”
“I will go look.”
“Look? You said he was invisible.”
“I will get in the car and feel around. I will sense him if he is that close.”
“And if he’s there?”
“I will come back and tell you. He cannot harm me.”
“No.” Brine stroked his beard. “I don’t want them to know we’re here until the last minute. I’ll risk it.”
“I hope you can move fast, Augustus Brine. If Catch sees you, he will be on you in an instant.”
“I can move,” Brine said with a confidence that he did not feel. He felt like a fat, old mantired and a little wired from too much coffee and not enough sleep.
“The woman!” The Djinn poked Brine with a bony finger.
Jenny was coming out of the house in her waitress uniform. She made her way down the front steps and across the shallow front yard to her Toyota.
“At least she’s still alive.” Brine was preparing to move. With Jenny out of the house one of their problems was solved, but there would be little time to act. The demonkeeper could come out at any moment. If their trap was not set, all would be lost.
The Toyota turned over twice and died. A cloud of blue smoke coughed out of the exhaust pipe. The engine cranked, caught again, sputtered, and died; blue smoke.
“If she goes back to the house, we have to stop her,” Brine said.
“You will give yourself away. The trap will not work.”
“I can’t let her go back in that house.”
“She is only one woman, Augustus Brine. The demon Catch will kill thousands if he is not stopped.”
“She’s a friend of mine.”
The Toyota cranked again weakly, whining like an injured animal, then fired up. Jenny revved the engine and pulled away leaving a trail of oily smoke.
“That’s it,” Brine said. “Let’s go.” Brine started the truck, pulled forward, and stopped.