Back Practical Demonkeeping
Chapters (82)
  1. PRACTICALDEMONKEEPING
  2. CHRISTOPHER MOORE
  3. CONTENTS
  4. Part 1
  5. SATURDAY NIGHT
  6. THE BREEZE
  7. Part 2
  8. SUNDAY
  9. PINE COVE
  10. TRAVIS
  11. ROBERT
  12. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  13. THE DJINN’S STORY
  14. ARRIVAL
  15. ROBERT
  16. THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
  17. 10
  18. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  19. 11
  20. EFFROM
  21. 12
  22. JENNIFER
  23. Part 3
  24. SUNDAY NIGHT
  25. 13
  26. NIGHTFALL
  27. 14
  28. DINNER
  29. 15
  30. RACHEL
  31. 16
  32. HOWARD
  33. 17
  34. BILLY
  35. 18
  36. RACHEL
  37. 19
  38. JENNY’S HOUSE
  39. 20
  40. EFFROM
  41. 21
  42. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  43. 22
  44. TRAVIS AND JENNY
  45. Part 4
  46. MONDAY
  47. 23
  48. RIVERA
  49. 24
  50. AUGUSTUS BRINE
  51. 25
  52. AMANDA
  53. 26
  54. TRAVIS’S STORY
  55. 27
  56. AUGUSTUS
  57. 28
  58. EFFROM
  59. 29
  60. RIVERA
  61. 30
  62. JENNY
  63. 31
  64. GOOD GUYS
  65. 32
  66. THE HEAD OF THE SLUG
  67. 33
  68. RIVERA
  69. 34
  70. U-PICK-EM
  71. 35
  72. BAD GUYS, GOOD GUYS
  73. 36
  74. JENNY, ROBERT, RIVERA, AMANDA, TRAVIS, HOWARD, AND THE SPIDER
  75. 37
  76. GOOD GUYS
  77. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  78. About the Author
  79. PRAISE FORChristopher Moore
  80. ALSO BYChristopher Moore
  81. Credits
  82. Copyright

It was a warm night and the Toyota had no air conditioning. Jenny didn’t dare roll down the window and risk blowing her hair. She had spent an hour styling and pinning it back so that it fell in long curls to the middle of her back. When she began to perspire, she remembered that she still had two wads of toilet paper tucked under her arms to stop the bleeding from shaving cuts. For the next few minutes all she could think of was getting to a restroom where she could remove the spotted wads. She decided not to mention it.

The restaurant, the Old Italian Pasta Factory, was housed in an old creamery building, a remnant of the time when Pine Cove’s economy was based on livestock rather than tourism. The concrete floors remained intact, as did the corrugated steel roof. The owners had taken care to preserve the rusticity of the structure, while adding the warmth of a fireplace, soft lighting, and the traditional red-and-white tablecloths of an Italian restaurant. The tables were small but comfortably spaced, and each was decorated with fresh flowers and a candle. The Pasta Factory, it was agreed, was the most romantic restaurant in the area.

As soon as the hostess seated them, Jenny excused herself to the restroom.

“Order whatever wine you want,” she said, “I’m not picky.”

“I don’t drink, but if you want some…”

“No, that’s fine. It’ll be a nice change.”

As soon as Jenny left, the waitress—an efficient-looking woman in her thirties—came to the table.

“Good evening, sir. What can I bring you to drink this evening?” She pulled her order pad out of her pocket in a quick, liquid movement, like a gunslinger drawing a six-shooter. A career waitress, Travis thought.

“I thought I’d wait for the lady to return,” he said.

“Oh, Jenny. She’ll have an herbal tea. And you want, let’s see…” She looked him up and down, crossed-referenced him, pigeonholed him, and announced, “You’ll have some sort of imported beer, right?”

“I don’t drink, so…”

“I should have known.” The waitress slapped her forehead as if she’d just caught herself in the middle of a grave error, like serving the salad with plutonium instead of creamy Italian. “Her husband is a drunk; it’s only natural that she’d go out with a nondrinker on the rebound. Can I bring you a mineral water?”

“That would be fine,” Travis said.

The waitress’s pen scratched, but she did not look at the order pad or lose her “we aim to please” smile. “And would you like some garlic bread while you’re waiting?”

“Sure,” Travis said. He watched the waitress walk away. She took small, quick, mechanical steps, and was gone to the kitchen in an instant. Travis wondered why some people seemed to be able to walk faster than he could run. They’re professionals, he thought.