“He’s an artist, and artists . . . This is going to sound like a generalization, but artists suffer for their craft,” said Suzanne. “That makes me very tense.”

“You might think he’s cute,” Lucy said. “Keep your mind open, unless I like him. If I like Larry Walker, then don’t keep your mind open. Close it like a clam. But there are some other people on the show, maybe somebody else’ll be cute.”

“My dream is not to meet someone on a talk show,” Suzanne said.

“What are you, above the talk show?” Lucy said. “I think talk shows are the singles bars for celebrities. Where do you think I met Andrew Keyes? I met him on a talk show in Chicago when I was promoting Hot Countries.”

“Really? I didn’t know that. I thought you met him at a party, and here I’ve been going to all these parties looking for my Andrew Keyes.”

“You’re funny, though,” Lucy said. “You’d be good on talk shows.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid I’d be good, and I’d end up the Joanne Worley of my generation.”

“I think you should forget all these ideas you have that stop you from doing things,” Lucy said. “That’s why you’re in bed all the time, because unfortunately you made that one movie where they paid you a little bit too much, and now you can afford to stay in bed.”

“I don’t see why we’re having an argument.”

“We’re not. All I’m saying is you should go on a talk show every so often. Because you’re funny.”

“What, everyone has to know I’m funny?” said Suzanne. “Or I’m not funny anymore?”

“No, you should keep it a big bad secret,” Lucy said, “so that only you and your bedclothes know. And your clicker.”

“My clicker,” said Suzanne, “thinks I’m incredibly amusing. It asked me out the other day. I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Okay,” said Lucy, lighting yet another cigarette. “So what should I talk about? Help me.”

“Well, don’t get pretentious. You know how when you get nervous you get pretentious to protect yourself?”

“Is that true?” said Lucy. “That’s weird. You’re kidding. You’ve always thought that? I feel bad now.”

“No, I don’t mean it bad,” said Suzanne. “I think it’s good pretentious. Everybody’s got their quirks. You just quote William Somerset Maugham when you’re nervous. Some people sweat.”

“Should I talk about No Survivors? I mean, it’s not coming out until November, but I can say what it was like to work with Rolf Eduard, and that it isn’t a remake of Freedom Train like everyone thinks. What else?”

“Why don’t you say the thing about singles bars for celebrities?” Suzanne suggested. “Say that’s why you’re on.”