Suzanne left today. I feel really good about the connection we made in the park. It took a long time, but I think it was worth waiting for. I’m glad she didn’t get to know me before, when I was such a creep. She’s great. If she lost just five pounds, I’d marry her.

I think her suggestion that I keep a journal for my script was a good one. I wish I could see her journal. She’s no writer or anything, but she is Suzanne Vale. I wonder if she’ll publish it.

I wonder if there’s anything in it about me . . .

A Banquet of Crumbs

“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “I was in a production meeting. Did my secretary call you?”

“She did,” she said. “It’s all right, I brought my book.”

“What are you reading?” he said. “Maybe I can option it. Oh, great. Siddhartha.”

“Actually, I’m re-reading it,” she said.

“A smart actress,” he said. “I love it. What’s your IQ? Mine’s one forty-eight.”

“A genius producer,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “For all the good it does me in this town.”

“I love that they call it a ‘town,’ ” she said. “I imagine there’s like a dry goods store, and a clock tower, and a postman: ‘Hey, good mornin’, Mr. Phelps, how are ya? How’s that rheumatism?’ The ‘town’ of Hollywood. Tinseltown. ‘Howdy, I’m the mayor of Tinseltown, and I’m here to welcome you to our fair city. How are ya?’”

“Funny, too,” he said. “Andrea was right. I’m gonna like you.”

“So,” she said. “Do you remember your college board scores, too?”

“Six ninety-six on the English,” he said. “Seven sixty-six on the math. I went out with this girl once who told me she wanted to stick her tongue in my mouth to get closer to my brain. She was a bimbo.”

“How did you meet Andrea?” she said.

“Through Candy,” he said.

“Oh, yeah, she’s great,” she said. “When I was little, I always wanted to look like her. You know, growing up in L.A., there’s such an emphasis on looks. I mean, even in school, I decided what I was gonna wear the next day before I did my homework. There was this girl in my class, Beth Ann Finnerman, whose knee socks always stayed up, and mine seemed to sort of rumple toward the ankles. And I really thought my life would be better if I could do things like have my knee socks stay up.”

“Well,” he said. “You look fine to me.”

“I’ve recently found,” she said, “that to keep up my appearance, it has to be through health. I used to think this was corny, but I guess ‘healthy’ equals ‘attractive’ now, you know?”

“Should we order?” he said.