I actually did love her. And she was fine. I was her safe word, and I’d back her, back off, from now on. I’d removed Find My Friends from my phone; the coercion, it wasn’t healthy, the compulsion to control things, ommm. If I’d learnt one thing, it was this: you couldn’t force desire – you could try, but you’d fail.

I started the car, drove slowly.

‘I miss Zac,’ Sophie said.

‘Oh?’ I said. ‘Do you, Oliver?’

He thought about it. ‘No, not really.’

‘There’s something I need to talk to you both about at home.’

‘What is it?’ Sophie said.

‘Oh, something. I’ll tell you when we get there.’

‘Why not now?’ Oliver said.

‘We need to be able to see each other.’

‘I can see you.’

‘Me too,’ Sophie said.

I looked at them in the mirror, smiled. Their dad was in love with another woman and couldn’t imagine not being with her. He was also in love with their mother and couldn’t imagine not being with her, even though she was in love with a dom. We’d sort it out later, assuming I wasn’t in prison for killing their babysitter.

I’d tried contacting Zac’s sisters, Ruth and Evelyn, but neither had responded to my entreaties on Facebook. I’d tracked down Evelyn’s mobile number, called twice, left voice messages, sent a text. Nothing. But Zac was with them, now, in Perth. That was my feeling. I’d fly there, track him down, repeatedly stab him in the neck.

I threw the schoolbags into the kids’ bedroom, went to the kitchen, noticed the teapot. Biddy had pieced it back together with fibreglass resin and gold dust, her secret kintsugi project; a network of shiny veins now ran through its green ceramic body, elevating it from a ruin to something flawed but worth embracing. She reckoned it might even hold water.

I emptied the Fruit Chews into a bowl, told the kids to come through to the dining room. They saw the bowl, smiled at each other, sat with their feet up on the chairs.

‘Are we talking about lollies?’ Sophie said.

‘We can if you want,’ I said. ‘What do you want to say about them?’

‘That they’re delicious,’ Oliver said.

‘I’m going to have a red one,’ I said. I unwrapped it, stuck it in my mouth. ‘Go on, help yourselves.’

Sophie took a green chew, unwrapped it, Oliver a purple.

‘OK, so I need to talk to you both about something really important.’

‘About school?’ Oliver said.

‘It’s not about anything you’ve done.’

‘Is it about something we’re going to do?’ Sophie said.

‘No … Look, Mummy and Daddy have found out some bad stuff about Zac.’

They chewed, looked engaged.