“Let’s head in then. I’m sure we’re fine.” Fine. Was that true? How often had I hid behind that word when I meant its opposite? It was what Steffanie had said when I was able to see her after the attack. Really, Lily, I’m totally fine. We waded back, our wet clothes stuck to our skin. I scanned the beach for the person I thought I’d seen, but I didn’t make out any shapes except for the lifeguard stand, ghostly in the moonlight. Clara and I made our way up the beach slowly, in silence.

At the boardwalk, Clara jerked her head in the direction of her shop. “I’m this way.”

“You sure you’re okay walking by yourself?”

“Do it all the time.”

“Right.” It had been, along with the night of Matthew’s last show, one of the strangest, most disorienting nights of my life. But for Clara, was this normal? The danger? The ugliness? Maybe the only strange thing about it for her had been that I was there to witness, to screw it up. “What are you doing this week?” I asked. “I could teach you to swim. Properly. In daylight, I mean.”

“Sure.” I could tell she thought it was an empty offer, something to patch up the silence. Even I was surprised that I meant it. That something like trust had passed between us, solidified.

“I’m off on Saturday. Want to meet at three o’clock, three-thirty?”

“You can text me if you want. I just added more minutes to my phone.” I wondered if she didn’t have a real phone because she couldn’t afford one, or if that was one more way Des kept Clara cut off, kept her under her thumb.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll see you then.” We stopped in front of the candy shop, where Julie Zale smiled out from a poster on the window. It was hard to look at her face.

“I keep wondering why she left home,” Clara said. “Why she thought she might be happier somewhere else.”

“Maybe everyone thinks they’ll be happier somewhere else.” Had I been happier in New York than I’d been here? Busier, maybe. More distracted. But happier? No.

“Some of us are right.”

“You sure you’re okay?” I asked.

She smiled. “I’m more worried about you.”

“Don’t worry. My car is right there. Get back safe.”

“I will.”