Before I could change my mind, I told her about Tom slipping me his number, about the offer he had made. I knew it was our only chance, but still I waited for her to put her hand out, to say no. To tell me I was too young. That she’d handle it. That I should go back to school in the fall. I was always waiting for her to show me something that looked even a little bit like protectiveness.

Instead, she squeezed my arm, excited. “Well, what are you waiting for, Miss Clara Voyant? We don’t have any time to lose.” I felt another one of the phantom flies creep along my shoulder. I rubbed at my skin, shook my hair off of my neck, and still I felt it. My ankle. My earlobe. My left eye.

“What’s the matter with you?” Des asked. “You keep twitching.”

“I don’t know. Nervous, I guess.” It took all my willpower not to rub at my chest as the sensation crawled across my collarbone.

I found the paper with Tom’s phone number on it in the back of my dresser drawer. I wondered what it had meant, that I saved it at all. Surely another girl would have thrown it away—had I sensed this coming? That one day, sooner than I could have thought, I’d be desperate enough to call? Des handed me her phone, and while it rang I prayed he wouldn’t answer. For a moment, I let myself think I was safe, but he picked up on the fourth ring.

“It’s Clara,” I said. “From Atlantic City?” My voice was a pitch too high. Des shook her head. I tried again, swallowed the lump in my throat. “Remember me?” Better, Des mouthed.

“Hold on a minute,” he said, and I listened as he muffled the receiver. I tried not to picture who he was stepping away from.

“Well, this is a nice surprise. How are you, my dear?”

“I’ve been thinking about our date,” I said. “About what you said. I’d like to … to stay over with you.”

“I’d like that, too. I suppose I might be able to slip out of town, for a last-minute business trip, if you know what I mean.”

“Great,” I said. Des nodded at me, encouraging me to go on. “I need to make one thing clear first. This is going to be … an investment.” That was the word Des told me to use. “After all, there’s only one first time for everything. If you know what I mean.”

He let out a small groan, like he had just had a taste of something delicious, and I felt the goose bumps rise on the skin of my arms. “Oh my goodness. Well. Whatever you need. I’ll let you know where, what room, as soon as I book.”