She wasn’t sure what she would do or say when she saw him. Perhaps he wouldn’t press her for an explanation, would just let her exist, stand solely in that moment, independent of what had gone before. He had once asked her what it was about Westerners that they couldn’t allow things to just be. There’s not a reason for everything, he had said, some things just are, but she had not believed him. Actions produced reactions, but now the idea that everything had a reason seemed laughable. Some things had reasons, and some things just were. Some things controlled you, and some you could control. But most were an amalgamation, lacing inside you like a lattice, snaking and spiraling and weaving within each other until it was impossible to tell one from the other. This was who she was. This was what she had come here to tell him. This was what she would wrap her heart in and offer like a prayer.

At 9 A.M. sharp, she picked up the phone. Her palms were damp, and her breath shallow, and after she dialed the number, she had to hold the receiver with both hands to keep it steady. She had opened the sliding glass door, and she tried to focus on the sound of the ocean and the noisy gang of crows in the surrounding trees rather than the awful shrill ring of the phone.

“Hello,” he said.

She had not heard his voice in a long time, and now he sounded so solidly Indian, she wasn’t sure it was him.

“May I speak to Devesh, please?”

There was a long silence, and she could hear the Hindi radio whining love songs in the background.

“Josie?” he asked.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi.” He was obviously surprised, and she tried to judge if it was the pleasant kind.

“How are you?” she asked. She hadn’t practiced or even thought about what she would say on the phone, and she closed her eyes and tried to focus.

“I’m … I’m fine; well,” he stammered.

She was silent, and she knew she needed to say something, but her tongue seemed glued to her teeth. The crows squawked louder, drivers leaned incessantly on their horns, and she wished they could all be quiet, just for a minute.

“It’s very loud. Where are you?” he finally asked.

She hadn’t realized she had been holding her breath, but it came out in a long exhale, and she felt her heart settle into place. “Here,” she said. “India.”