He walked up one flight of stairs, to the landing where she stood, and reached for her. And what he did was pull her gently to him, press her head against his shoulder. “Oh, Josie,” he said. “Oh, Jojo.” And all it took was her little-girl name, blown like a glass ball, perfect and fragile and full of what might have been, to nudge the words gently from her belly: “I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m sorry.”

She could feel her heart unpack each apology, deal them out like playing cards—one for her mother, one for her father, one for her brother, and one for her.

CHAPTER TWENTY

THE NEXT WEEK HER FATHER STAYED HOME FROM WORK. HE HAD wanted to know the details, and she had told him, and when she couldn’t remember any more, he had filled in the gaps, telling her how she had hid all of Matthew’s toys under her bed, how her mother had slept on the floor of the baby’s room for months, how he had made two million dollars the week after the funeral.

They took drives along the coast, walked the railroad tracks to the beach, and sat—long silences between them—until, eventually, her father’s hand on hers felt real, and the marble in her heart began to wear slowly away, leaving something fragile but true between them.

The following week they went through the second floor of the house—boxing her mother’s things, reorganizing her father’s—finally arriving at the master bedroom. Her father had been sleeping in Josie’s old room and Josie hadn’t opened the door to her parents’ room since her father came back. Now it loomed before them like a final frontier.

“I’ll get your aunt to do it,” her father said.

Josie shook her head. “I’ll do it.”

“You don’t have to. Steffi said she’d do whatever we couldn’t. I’ll just call her—”

“Please,” Josie interrupted. “I want to.”

He stared at her.

“Go play some online poker. Lose some money,” she said.

“You’re not supposed to know about that.” He laughed.

She shrugged and smiled, and he sighed and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

“Call me if you need me,” he said.

She nodded and shut the door.