Any normal parent would go and take care of their child. He feels powerless, seeing the room as it must look to her, the layer of dust on the rose quartz, the crystals by the window and the empty bottles by the fireplace. The squashed daddy long-legs on the glass doors that he has never washed off.

‘Jeez,’ he says. ‘I canna take all this in. How did you let Lauren go looking for me? How could you?’

‘I was out till all hours looking for Ann-Marie, you know, Niall.’ There’s a sharper tone to her voice; he can tell she’s been hiding it. ‘I’m not a full-time childminder. We need to talk. When all this is over. The search, I mean. Because you’re not well.’

Niall shakes his head. Kirsty sounds like someone from Christine’s family. He eats a little more of the hot porridge, which tastes smoother than he makes it. His stomach roils. He wants to go to bed, pull the covers over his head and start again. Jameson barks at something outside. The day is bright and dry. The clouds are moving fast.

He hears her set the dog food on the kitchen floor and Jameson scampers over.

‘She’ll be with Diane or those lot.’ He speaks loudly with his mouth full, trying to find the best way to reassure her, ignoring the dread in his bones. ‘Thank you for this, by the way.’ His hand is shaking, holding the spoon.

‘No, she’s not, Niall. She’s not with Diane.’

‘She’ll be fine.’ Who are you trying to kid, he thinks to himself. He can’t deal with this before he has had some more sleep. Then he’ll pick up Lauren. His shoulder aches where he has been hunched asleep in the cold pickup.

Kirsty comes out of the kitchen and picks up her jacket.

‘But I’ll give you a hand trying to find her if you want,’ Niall continues. ‘Once my head clears. Fuck.’

She looks at him for a second too long and says goodbye.

20

At noon, Lauren wakes up from a dead sleep. Vairi is sitting neatly on the edge of the bed, picking a stray thread from her tartan skirt. Lauren can smell talcum powder mixed with the old lavender smell of the sheets.

‘Kirsty’s found your dad,’ Vairi says. ‘But he’s not in the best state.’

Relief pours through Lauren like the opening of a canal lock. ‘Where was he?’

‘They found him in his car.’

She feels exhausted all over again.

‘Man needs to look after himself. What a carry-on. Never, ever, go out like that again. Kirsty is going to give you some talking-to, let me tell you.

‘I’m thinking, if you’re up to it, Craig’ll give you a lift to school. They’ll be wondering where you are.’