When Niall wakes he spends a few moments trying to remember where he is. The room feels damp. It is November dark. He can see a white beam shine over the patterned fabric of the curtains. The sound of a giant vehicle. A snow plough perhaps, or a long-distance lorry. It’s colder than usual this year. There is a softer glow coming from the streetlamp in the road and the luminous green of his alarm clock. He turns and sees the outline of a body next to him. A hump in the duvet like a small range of mountains. Above, on the pillow next to his, he makes out the curve of an arm, lying still in the deep grey. He squints at a river of hair on the pillow. A faint, calm smell, a familiar smell. Honeysuckle. Long, long hair he wants to touch. He reaches out but his hand feels the cotton of the pillowslip. He sits up and pats around in the dark, touching nothing but bedding. He stretches his leg out to the empty mattress.

He feels a kiss on his neck. Two cool hands of another person over his eyes, arms reaching from behind. Slim, soft fingers. The chill of a ring next to his eyelid. Another kiss, warm breath, hair brushing his neck. The back of his T-shirt creeps up and a cold draught touches his bare skin. He stays very still. More kisses on his rigid back, now slick with sweat. She is kissing his tattoos. A hand on the hollowed middle of his spine.

He tries to turn around but hands push him down lightly on to the bed. The faint shape of long hair is hanging over him. He can smell her. He knows.

Her breath tickles the crook of his neck and shoulder as he turns on to his side. There is the sensation of her unclothed body against his. Then the body shifts away. He turns violently and kicks the duvet to the floor. He smooths his hands over the sheet. He kneels. He presses his head against the mattress. He begins to weep. Another light in the road passes.

10

When Niall arrives at Catriona’s that morning, he lifts a corner of the old flagstone along the side of the garden wall and cannot find the spare key. He flips over the whole stone, which has now rounded at the edges with time. The wet soil underneath is bare, except for two pink earthworms and a cluster of ants. He walks back over the grass, noticing it has been left to grow untended. He rings the doorbell.

After a few minutes he decides to text Catriona, but she opens the door as he is tapping out a message.