“No,” I say, and then realize too late the opportunity I have missed.

“Good.” She tickles again, poking me in my sides as I contort and wheeze until finally I cave.

“Fine, fine. I love you too,” I yell.

She ceases tickling and climbs off me, her face smug. “There. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Speak for yourself,” I grumble, trying to catch back my breath. “You have an evil streak, you know.”

“I’ve missed this.” She smiles wistfully.

“Tickling me?”

“No, egg. This, us. Playing around. Just the two of us. Although it’s great when Amanda is here too, of course,” she adds hurriedly.

“I know what you mean. I’ve missed it too. I’m sorry if it seems like I’ve been so preoccupied with James lately.”

She looks down. “It’s OK. I understand.”

“I hope so. It doesn’t mean I love you guys any less. You’re still the best friends a girl could ever ask for.”

“I was a little jealous of him at first,” she admits. “Which sounds completely selfish.”

“It’s not selfish. You can’t help how you feel.”

“I just…I missed it being just us, you know?” She sighs deeply. “But it all comes down to the fact that all I want is for you to be happy. That’s the most important thing. And anyone can see that he makes you that way.”

“He does. And so do you.”

“Besides, I’ve had you almost my whole life,” she goes on. “And although it’s hard to share when I know our time left together is limited, share I must.” She sniffs nobly.

“You never were any good at sharing,” I tease.

“Hey,” she protests. “OK, maybe not, but you still love me.”

I give her a defiant look.

She holds up her hands and waggles her fingers threateningly. “Don’t you…?”

“I do, I do,” I say quickly before she starts tickling me again.

Her expression turns serious. “Oh, God, Ava. How am I supposed to say goodbye to you?”

I take a breath and breathe it out slowly, failing to dispel the pain her words cause. “You don’t. No goodbyes. I’ll be seeing you again. Someday, somewhere.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I have to. Otherwise it hurts too much.”

Notes from Ava

(Women’s Weekly, January 8)

Don’t leave saying something until it is too late. You were taught words for a reason. Use them. Unless you’re angry. Then you shouldn’t say anything. Words said in anger can never be taken back, so don’t tear someone else down just because you’re having a shitty day. Stop. Breathe. Think first. Walk away if you have to.

Tell your loved ones you love them. Every single time you see them or leave them, tell them. Especially your children. Sprinkle the word on them like glitter. It will never lose its effectiveness, trust me, and it will make them feel as special and wanted as they are.

If you love someone, tell them. Because if you don’t, one day it will be too late. Not might be, WILL be. We are all only a tiny cog in this great big universe for a while. Once your time is up, it’s up. It’s not a rehearsal. You don’t get to try again. There are no second chances, no reruns. Just one chance, to make it a life you want to live. It doesn’t matter if you aspire to greatness, or if you’re content to live a life that others might consider average. As long as you’re happy, that’s a life well lived.