“Yeah,” I said. “That’s how I feel. I’ve been told I was ‘turning’ straight or ‘turning’ lesbian again depending on which gender I got a crush on. And a little while ago, someone told me it was good I can date guys, because then I don’t have to face discrimination.”

Brooke startled in her seat, and it was only then I remembered it was actually her who’d made that comment. I hadn’t brought it up to guilt her, and I hoped she didn’t take it that way. Now that I’d started letting out some of the anger and frustration I’d barely known was there, though, I couldn’t stop.

“And I guess I could technically choose to just never act on my crushes when they’re not on a guy, but what the fuck? And the implication is that I’m less queer than others, because, you know, I can just go straight and not deal with any oppression at all, easy. Like being with a guy magically makes me straight. Like it’s a competition, or a ranking, and I need to stop speaking on queer issues because am I really queer? Really, though? And I want to clarify that this person didn’t say any of that, but that’s just how it felt. And maybe I don’t know what it’s like to be gay or lesbian, but I do know some people will never understand what it’s like to be queer and to blush every time you join in on a conversation about it because you feel like you’re treading on people’s toes, because when they say ‘queer’ they don’t mean you.”

I hadn’t meant to yell.

The room fell uncomfortably quiet. Brooke had covered her mouth with her hand, and Ray bit her lower lip. “Once, I had a girl ask me who would I choose,” Ray said. “And I was like, well who are they? And she’s all oh, no one in particular. And I asked her if she had to choose between girl A and girl B, who would she choose, and she got all grumpy at me and said that was different.”

Around the room, the others were starting to break into smiles.

“I’m always hearing that it’s suddenly ‘weird’ if I like one gender after being attracted to another,” I said. “Oh, and once, some straight guy asked me how being bi ‘works’ when I’m in a relationship. And I asked him how it works for him, and he said ‘it works in that I’m not bisexual.’ Then I asked, if he’s attracted to women, how he can possibly stop himself from cheating on his girlfriend with every woman he runs into. Like, for fuck’s sake, dude, I said I’m bisexual, not a nymphomaniac.”

“Oh my god.” Ray snorted.