Chapters (32)
I couldn’t see myself, but if I could, I was pretty sure dismay would’ve been carved into every feature. And it only took Brougham glancing at me for him to add a hurried addendum. “I’m really grateful for everything you did. And honestly, I’m impressed. You’re good at this. Better than I expected.” He shrugged. “And I’m not saying I’m calling it quits. But maybe … a hiatus?”
Okay. Well, that was fair. Because hearing Brougham talk about his relationship with Winona? Put it this way: if he wanted me to help him, I would, and I would do my best. But I couldn’t say I was convinced either one of them were all that healthy for each other. Maybe I was wrong. There was probably lots and lots I didn’t know. But I did know some things.
If Winona was as Brougham described, withdrawing into silence whenever she felt smothered, and shutting down emotionally, immune to his pleas for empathy and affection, I’d put money on her being a dismissive-avoidant. Honestly, it made sense. The avoidant and the anxious often found each other. Maybe because the highs and lows felt like love. And maybe because people loved the familiar, and finding someone who was inherently wrong for them reinforced all the negative views about relationships they’d grown so comfortable holding: that they will suffocate you and steal your independence, or that they’ll leave you alone and bleeding.
An anxiously attached person who feared rejection and a dismissive-avoidant who feared being consumed by closeness would constantly overwhelm each other unless they both put a lot of effort into understanding their triggers and learning coping techniques. Ultimately, if Brougham wanted things to work with Winona, they’d both need to unlearn their views. And from where I was standing, she didn’t exactly seem to be seeking help in rekindling their romance.
But it wasn’t the time or place to dump all these what-ifs on Brougham. So I just leaned forward to rest my elbows on my knees as the wheel brought us back to where we started.
“Well, if you decide you want to try again one day, you know where to find me.”