“So,” I said. “I’ve been feeling really … confused, lately. The thing is, I’m … really scared to have feelings for a guy, any guy,” I spat out. There. Now I’d said the words out loud, I couldn’t deny them to myself if I wanted to. “I’m bi. But the last time I liked a guy, I wasn’t part of this group, and being bi wasn’t this huge part of my identity. But now it is, and, I guess, I feel weird about it?”

“Weird how?” Finn asked.

I swallowed, and scanned the faces staring up at me. No one looked judgy or irritated, even though it felt like such a stupid, trivial thing to bring up. The fear of passing as straight, for god’s sake. “I feel like if I’m with a guy, I won’t belong here properly anymore. What if I got a boyfriend? I’d feel weird bringing him to pride events, or even telling queer people I have a boyfriend. I’d feel judged.”

“Oh my god, Darcy,” Jaz said. “We wouldn’t judge you.”

“You belong,” Finn said simply. Brooke nodded, and my breath caught in my throat. It was the first time she’d acknowledged me in person in weeks.

Alexei folded their arms and leaned across the table. “That’s all in your head,” they said. “You’re the only one thinking that, I promise.”

“No,” Ray said sharply, and I turned to look at her. She didn’t look angry, but her tone was firm. My stomach dropped. This was what I’d been so terrified of. That I’d open up, and my fears would be reinforced. But then she went on. “Don’t gaslight her. What she’s describing is internalized biphobia, and bi’s didn’t invent this shit. Society sends us that message. We’re made to feel like we’re not queer enough to hang with queer groups all the time.”

Well. Stunned was an understatement for how I felt at that moment. All at once I felt a rush of warmth and gratitude toward her. Gratitude that was instantly tempered by something that felt a lot like guilt. I didn’t deserve her backup.

“It’s true,” Lily said. “Ace and aro people get that sort of shit, too.”

Erica whipped her head around to look at Lily, eyes widening hopefully.

“Exactly,” Ray said.

“Internalized biphobia?” repeated Jason.

Ray didn’t skip a beat. “Yeah. It’s when bisexuals start to believe the biphobia they’re surrounded by. We’re told that our sexuality isn’t real, or that we’re straight if we’re with another gender, and that our feelings don’t count if we’ve never dated a certain gender, that kind of crap. Then we hear it so many times we doubt ourselves.”