“Yes, one incident happened yesterday, but I promise you, it was isolated. I will never, ever tell anyone what you wrote me…”

“Hadiya.” She didn’t look convinced. “I’m serious, though, it really can’t get out.”

“Hadiya, I swear on my sister’s life I will not tell a soul about your letter. Please don’t worry. But I … I need to go.”

Everyone was looking at me.

I was the star of the show. The surprise villain revealed.

I needed to find Brooke, because even though there was nothing she could say that would make this better—I already knew what had happened here—it was the only obvious next step. And I needed to have a next step. If I didn’t, I would have no choice but to stand alone, helpless in the middle of this crowd while accusing stares were directed my way.

So, step one. Walk.

My feet cooperated.

Step two. Locate.

She was already outside the classroom, waiting to go inside and bag a seat as far away from me as she could. At least she didn’t try to get away when she saw me storm up.

“You told everyone?” I hissed as soon as I was within earshot.

She stood her ground and spoke in a firm tone. “I told Ray. She had every right to know what happened.”

“Everyone knows.”

She shrugged. Not her problem. “I imagine Ray told her friends what you did to her. Why shouldn’t she? She doesn’t owe you anything.”

“But…” But what? “It was my secret. I didn’t want anyone to know.”

Brooke was unmoved. “Yeah. It sucks to have your private shit handed out to people you didn’t want to know it, huh?”

Somehow, a part of me had figured telling Brooke was the right thing to do, and people didn’t get punished for making the right decision, so therefore I wouldn’t have to face the consequences. It was wrong to lie about what I’d done, so therefore, choosing not to lie about it should’ve absolved me, right?

Of course, that was ridiculous. Admitting I did something horrible didn’t magically erase the horrible thing I’d done. Neither did an apology. Owning the situation might have stopped the fallout from being worse than it otherwise could’ve been, but I still owed a karmic debt. My biggest sin here was not covering up what I’d done. It was doing it in the first place.

So, next step?

Pretend people aren’t staring at you. Go into class. Let Brooke sit as far away from you as she wants. Concentrate on the teacher. Survive.

Right now, that was my only option, wasn’t it? I’d let the wave dunk me, and pull me under, and hold my breath and wait it out. Hopefully, by the time I resurfaced I’d have a clearer idea of how to swim back to shore.