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Back Pack Up the Moon Save as PDF
Chapters (46)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for Kristan Higgins
  3. BERKLEY BOOKS BY KRISTAN HIGGINS
  4. Dedication
  5. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 18
  24. 19
  25. 20
  26. 21
  27. 22
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. 26
  32. 27
  33. 28
  34. 29
  35. 30
  36. 31
  37. 32
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. EPILOGUE
  43. Readers Guide
  44. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  45. About the Author
  46. What’s next onyour reading list?

Today’s weather was insultingly beautiful, the air dry and clear, sun shining, midsixties, flowers bursting out of window boxes everywhere. Even the ferns and hostas Lauren had planted on the rooftop garden had come back this spring, despite Josh’s neglect of them. (And the seagull, who shat on them. Maybe it was fertilizer.)

Life was everywhere except where he most wanted it to be.

The dogwood tree idea felt stupid today. He wished there were a grave where he could lay a bouquet of flowers. He should’ve thought about that, should’ve recognized that Jen and Donna would want somewhere to go.

Someday, he’d plant the tree. Where, he didn’t know.

He texted Donna and asked if he could come over. She said yes, and half an hour later, he was in her kitchen, holding her as she sobbed. “I didn’t know it would be this hard,” she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. “I don’t know if I can stand it. My little girl, my baby.”

No, he thought. It was unbearable.

“I have a present for you,” he said, handing his mother-in-law the box, and when she saw the earrings, she stroked them gently, as if they were alive.

“Her birthstone,” she whispered.

“Yes.”

She put them on, then looked in the small mirror by the door. “Thank you, sweetheart,” she said.

Then she poured Josh a cup of coffee, and they sat on the porch, Donna’s hand on his arm.

“I heard from Jen you’re seeing someone,” he said after a time.

“Yes. Bill. He . . . he lost his son. Car accident. It’s a comfort, having someone who understands. Do you have anyone to talk to, Josh? Another . . . person?”

“I do. Online, but yes.” He thought of what Lauren might say. “I’m glad you’re seeing someone. I think Lauren would like that.”

Donna tightened her grip on his arm. “Thank you,” she whispered, then wiped her eyes again.

This day would end. They would both wake up again tomorrow, and the first birthday without her would be over and done with. For now, he’d stay here, with his wife’s mother, and let her mourn her daughter.

16

Lauren

Eighteen months left

August 4