The blue was so intense against the sunlit bridge that the air seemed to shimmer. “It’s beautiful,” he said, though his knees were still shaking.

“Right?” David asked.

“Right.”

“Check it out, dude. Fog’s coming in.” David pointed behind them, to the San Francisco skyline, and there was the legendary cloud bank, tumbling over itself. In seconds, it had erased the view and swallowed the bridge. Josh couldn’t see the water, or the city, or the sky.

“I should get going, man. You headed to Marin? We can walk together if you want.”

“No, no. I’ll go back to the city. Thank you.”

“You cool?”

“So cool.” Josh stuck out his hand. “Thank you, David. This meant a lot to me.”

“A pleasure . . . uh, what’s your name?”

“Joshua.”

“A pleasure, Joshua! Take care, dude!”

Some people were simply, undeniably decent. Radley. Jen. Darius. This guy.

The walk back was easier. Piece of cake, really, since he couldn’t see how high up he was. He wove through the other pedestrians, dodged those taking photos. Dang. He should have taken a picture for Laur—

Nope. He couldn’t take pictures for her anymore.

That thought would’ve dropped him a few months ago. This time, it only stopped him for a few seconds.

Then, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and took a shot of the bridge, the upper reaches fading into the now-gray sky. He texted it to his mom, Jen, Radley and Ben. Then, after a second’s pause, added Sarah to the chat. What would Lauren say?

Walked over the Golden Gate Bridge like a boss. See you later, acrophobia.

He hadn’t been a loser. He’d done something he was afraid of.

His wife would’ve been so proud.

24

Joshua

Month nine

November

ON A COLD, dark evening in November, Sarah came by with a letter.

“I have a date, or I’d be more sociable,” she called as Pebbles whined and barked and wagged. “Bye!”

“Have fun,” he said, picking up the envelope.

A date, huh? She did look really pretty, her hair shiny, red lipstick on. He knew she dated—well, Lauren used to tell him about her misadventures, and there was the pyramid scheme guy who’d come to his first, disastrous dinner party. But he’d never met her boyfriend per se. He’d just seen her a few days ago when Radley and she had come over to watch a movie, and she hadn’t mentioned anyone, so maybe this was just another bad first date in the making.

Well. He had a letter from his wife to read.

He went through his pre-letter tradition—shower, clean clothes, a half glass of wine. Then he picked up the letter, holding it carefully, studying her handwriting, the fat swirl of the J, the long tail of the a.

Joshua, #9