Lauren nodded. Dr. Bennett pushed the button on the bed and raised her to more of a sitting position. God. Her chest burned and hurt, jerking with the effort to breathe, fighting the respirator. She tried to let it breathe for her, since she obviously was doing a crap job. She looked at the monitor. O2 sat 70 percent, heart rate 115, blood pressure 185/121. Her head was killing her. She looked at her hands, and the fingernails looked faintly . . . blue.

Not good. Not good at all.

Her whole body was so heavy, as if she’d been pumped full of iron.

Dr. Bennett—Kwana, she’d asked to be called way back when—sat next to her on the bed.

“Lauren,” Dr. Bennett said, her eyes kind . . . and wet. She gripped Lauren’s other hand. “The news is not good, honey. Your arterial blood gas is morbidly low. The X-rays show your lungs are filled with fluid, and your sats are way down, even with the ventilator.” She waited a beat, making sure Lauren was hearing all this.

She was, unfortunately. Even though she’d known it was coming, the realization was a physical blow. She couldn’t look at Joshua.

“You’ve been on antibiotics, but we’re not getting anywhere in clearing the pneumonia. Your lung function is . . . quite low.”

She nodded. Squeezed Josh’s hand. Her chest was working hard, even with the ventilator in, and it hurt.

“Your organs are shutting down,” Dr. Bennett said, “and we can’t . . . we’re out of options.”

Lauren closed her eyes. Out of options.

This was it. She was dying. Her beautiful, happy life was ending. She’d known it would, but now that it was here . . . shit.

She opened her eyes and looked at Josh. His mouth trembled. He tried to smile, but his eyes filled. “I . . . I’m so sorry, honey,” he said, and his voice broke. He bent over and pressed his forehead to hers.

Not yet. Not yet. Oh, please, not yet. She didn’t want to do this to her husband.

Be brave, honey. Her father’s voice. Oh, thank God, he was here.

Josh. Oh, Josh. I’m so sorry.

Tears spilled out of her eyes, and he held the sides of her face, wiping her tears away even as he cried with her. Her heart swelled with sorrow and regret that she was leaving him. The love of her life. The love of her life. She lifted her hand to his hair, relishing the silkiness. Stroked his cheek before her heavy arm dropped back to her side.

I’m so sorry, honey. I’m so sorry.

“Are you in any pain?” Dr. Bennett asked.

Lauren nodded. Her chest ached, and a knifelike pain stabbed on every forced inflation. Flashes of light went off in her head like lightning strikes, searing and sharp. Her chest worked, and she could feel her breath crackling. Air hunger. Such an ugly, cruel thing.