Lauren was walking on the beach way, way ahead of him. They were on Cape Cod, but the spinner dolphins they’d seen in Hawaii were leaping out of the ocean, and Lauren was running ahead to get a better look, and he couldn’t reach her, because he kept stumbling on the sand. The rocks at the shore’s edge knocked together, clacking rhythmically, and Lauren’s long pink summer dress was just a dot now, and the clacking was louder now, banging, knocking, barking—

He woke up in a lurch. Pebbles was barking, and someone was knocking on the door. “Quiet,” he said sharply to the dog, and she obeyed, making him feel cruel and hard.

The knocking stopped. “Josh? It’s Sarah.”

Shit. He did not want to see anyone. Especially Sarah, who was all too healthy. Why couldn’t she have been the one who—

“Josh? It’s important.”

He hauled himself to his feet, the blanket tangling in his legs. “Um, it’s not a great time,” he said, moving closer to the door so she could hear him. His voice was strange to his own ears.

“I know. Open the door anyway.”

“Can you come back, um . . . next week?”

“No.”

He leaned against the door and ran his hand over his face.

“Joshua. Open the door or I’m calling 911 for a wellness check.”

She worked in social services, so he imagined she meant it.

“Josh. I’ve called you every other day, and you haven’t answered once. Please open the door. You’re not the only one who’s been grieving this past month.”

Jesus. A month since his wife died? It seemed like a decade. It seemed like thirty seconds ago.

He opened the door, and Sarah flinched, then hugged him. He patted her shoulder, wishing she would stop.

“You smell horrible,” she said, hugging him tighter.

“Sorry,” he said, stepping back.

She came inside and bent down to pet Pebbles. “Hi, honey! I missed you!” Pebbles wagged joyfully, and Josh felt a stab of resentment. That was Lauren’s dog. Lauren should be the one petting her, calling her honey.

Which was stupid, he knew.

Sarah straightened, wiped her eyes and looked around the place. “Oh, boy.”

He’d drawn the shades against the view, the sun. Cartons of food were in various places, some full, some empty. He noticed a pizza box under the coffee table, the corner chewed off. Pebbles must’ve swiped it. He hoped it wasn’t because she was hungry.

“Well.” Sarah put her hands on her hips. “Um . . . why don’t you take a shower, and I’ll clean up a little? Open the windows, get some fresh air?”

“I was just going to take a nap.”

“Go shower, Josh.” He opened his mouth to argue and then, lacking the energy, trudged down the hall to the bathroom.