Daddy,

I am a smug married. I love being married. Marriage is the best thing ever, and I can’t believe how happy we are. We’ve been married for five weeks, and every day is like a dream come true.

Our wedding—shoot, Dad, would you like to hear about our wedding? You would! Great! I know you were there in spirit, but this is my official update to you, assuming you can read in the Great Beyond.

All signs were pointing to doom. First, I caught a cough from one of the little germ sponges at the Hope Center, because I’ve been volunteering, reading and doing art projects. Anyway, I had this cough for a month. Then I apparently lost six pounds (coughing burns a lot of calories) and had to have my dress tightened. Then there was a huge storm two days before the wedding, and it was expected to park over Rhode Island for the whole weekend and either snow or rain or both. The downside of choosing Valentine’s Day for your wedding.

The storm blew out to sea. Thanks for that, Dad! And my cough seemed to disappear. You are one good guardian angel.

So . . . I got to the church early for the rehearsal the night before. It was chilly, but it had that good church smell, you know? Candles and incense, furniture polish and good intentions.

I stood there for a few minutes and thought of you, Daddy. You’ve been gone for six years now, and I can’t believe so much has happened to me without you. This especially. You would love Josh. You would’ve pretended not to like him at first, but you would love him like a son. He would’ve asked for your blessing before he proposed, and you would’ve lectured him on how special I am, then hugged him and tried not to cry.

And at the wedding, you would’ve walked me down the aisle. You would’ve tried to smile and you would’ve patted my hand, happy tears in your eyes. You would’ve called me your little girl and told me how beautiful I looked. You would’ve shaken Josh’s hand and told him he’d better take care of me.

So, standing there in the church, all by myself. I pretended you were there, and I pretended to link my arm through yours, and I walked down like you were next to me, and I cried my damn head off.

How could I be getting married without you? Why couldn’t you have lived, Dad?

You were the best father, Dad. The best.

For a second, I thought I would be a wreck for the wedding, mopey and weepy, like Mom. But I guess I got it out of my system, and when Josh came in, he could tell I’d been crying, and he said how proud you’d be of me. He told me how he went to the cemetery and promised you that he’d take good care of me and never let me feel unloved.

You see, Daddy? I picked a winner. I know you love him, Dad. I know you approve.

Okay, back to the happy stuff. The day of, I was SO happy. I was just floating, Dad! I also looked gorgeous, if I do say so. Darius walked me down the aisle. (Mom passed when I asked her. Sigh.) But hey! Darius is the world’s best brother-in-law, and Jen is damn lucky, too. Sebastian was our ring bearer and the CUTENESS!

My dress was so pretty . . . I tried to pick out something my daughter will want to wear someday, and not something that would make her scream with laughter. (We hope to have at least two daughters, like you and Mom did, Dad, because where would I be without Jen?) So it was Audrey Hepburn fabulous, as you no doubt saw. Josh wore a suit—I thought he was handsome in cargo pants, but MY GOD. I saw his face and thought, I am so lucky. He loves me. He loves me!

His mom was happy-crying through the whole thing. It was so sweet. I didn’t peg her as a crier, and there she was. She blew me a kiss as I walked up the aisle.

Daddy . . . when we said our vows, Josh’s voice was so gentle and . . . perfect. Neither of us cried. It was almost too important for tears. I looked into his eyes, and I never meant anything more in my life when I said I would love, honor and cherish him all the days of my life.

The reception was so much fun. Even Mom had fun. There were toasts, and Jen bawled and was also hilarious, and we all danced till we dropped. Seriously, I thought I was going to faint at one point, the downside of wearing a wedding gown. But at one point, when we were slow-dancing, Josh whispered, “You know what I want?” and I said, “What’s that, honey?” and he said, “I want to take my wife home.”

And Daddy, that was everything. Wife. Husband. Home. Us.

Yes, he carried me over the threshold.

It was perfect. I’m so happy, Dad. Know that. Feel that. Your little girl is so happy.