“Aw, of course it is, hon,” Gertie said. “It can be very overwhelming, especially if you don’t believe.”

The horse in his chest was bucking and rearing. Josh mopped his face and wadded up the tissue.

Gertie’s head tilted again. “She has more to say. Her presence is very strong. Do you want to hear it?”

Of course he wanted to hear it. How could he not? “Yes.”

Gertie tilted her head to the side. “She’s showing me that you work with . . . little things. Little things you build. You . . .” She tapped her fingertips together. “You make them? You . . . you make things on a computer, but she’s showing me a hospital, too.”

“He’s a medical device engineer,” Ben blurted. Josh didn’t even care that he told. Gertie was close enough.

“That’s it! That’s her way of making sure you know she’s really here. She’s proud of you, Josh. Very proud. You two were wicked happy.”

“Yes. Yes,” he said, his breath coming hard. “Look. I know she loved me and her sister and the kids, and I know what I do for a living. But . . .” His voice broke. “Does she have anything to say to me?” He rubbed his forehead hard and tried not to look at Ben, for fear he’d start sobbing. “Something for now?”

Gertie stared at the floor again. “She wants you to know she’s not alone. Her grandfather? No, her father? Did her father pass? Yeah? They’re together. She’s a beautiful soul, your wife. She laughs a lot. She’s happy.”

Good. Good. He only ever wanted her to be happy.

His heart cracked just the same.

“Okay . . . yep. Yep. She says you’ll get married again. She’s pointing to her ring fingah, then showing me the number two. Your second wife. You already know her, but you don’t . . . you’re not aware that she’s gonna be important in your life.” Gertie laughed. “She’s showing me a penny and droppin’ it. Like, the coin hasn’t dropped for you yet regardin’ this woman.”

“Sarah, maybe?” Ben murmured. Josh heard the words, but they didn’t register.

Gertie tilted her head again. “You blame yourself, she says. But you were wonderful! She’s showing me over and over again how good you were, how you took care of her. She wants you to stop feeling guilty. You couldn’t have done any more. She’s tellin’ me you were perfect. Drop the guilt.”

That was a message mediums often gave their clients, Josh had read. It also happened to be completely appropriate to his case.

He took a tissue and wiped his eyes. Gertie smiled at the floor. “So much love between you two,” she said.

The pain in his chest was crushing. Please come back, he couldn’t help thinking. Please come back.