He was functioning. He’d started cooking and eating better. He took better care of Pebbles because the dog deserved it, and looking into her eyes gave him some sense of connection. She had lost Lauren, too, so he tried. Brushed her and threw the Frisbee to her in the dog park, rubbed her belly and told her she was a pretty girl. He was tidying up the apartment more regularly. He let his mom cook him dinner a couple of times, understanding she needed to be needed, and that, like him, she was better with actions than words. He texted or called Donna every third day. He started babysitting for Jen and Darius, the way he and Lauren had.

But God, he still felt so empty. He wasn’t in constant agony anymore—it had been almost six months—but he wasn’t better, either. He went to karate and managed to smile and even laugh there; hard not to with all those little warriors. Same at the Hope Center, and when he got to see Sebastian and Octavia. He and Radley did something once in a while, too—drinks or food or a movie at Josh’s.

But those were a few hours. Three or five hours in a week that lasted one hundred and sixty-eight.

He adjusted the calendar on his computer so it only showed two days at a time, because looking at the days and weeks and months and years ahead of him . . . it was just too hard. All that time would come and go, and still Lauren would not be back. Ever.

Darius called him one muggy Saturday morning. “Dude, there’s a marathon today. It raises money for rare disease treatment and research. Jen and I are running with the kids. Sarah, too. You want in? It’s a 5K. You can handle it, right? Sorry I just told you about it. Jen is giving me a dirty look right now, because I was supposed to call you last week.”

Josh wasn’t used to this kind of rushed decision, to spontaneity. It made him nervous. “You want me to sponsor you?”

“No, brother. Just run with us.”

“Oh.” He winced, then silently chastised himself. “Yeah, okay.” Why not? He liked running, more or less, and had nothing else going on this weekend. Radley was in Chicago, doing the residency part of his low-residency program. Besides, Radley had gone above and beyond already, and Josh didn’t want to give him friend fatigue (another term he’d learned on the forum). “Sure. I’m in.”

“Excellent! Meet us in an hour. Texting you the info now. See you there, buddy.”