“Do you have any evidence as to where Tegan acquired the alcohol? Because I assure you I don’t keep any spirits in my house. And as you’ve pointed out, she’s underage and can’t just walk into a liquor store and buy some.”

“She could have a fake ID. You’ve no idea the things our children can hide from us, Miss Hessington.”

Oh, I’m becoming a quick study on the matter.

“Can I see the bottle in question?”

“Why?”

“I would like to examine it.”

“What difference does it make?”

“Please humor me.”

Visibly rattled, the Head of School pushes an intercom button and asks his secretary to bring in the corpus delicti.

A few tense heartbeats pass in silence before Mrs. Lewis comes into the office and deposits a bottle covered in Swarovski crystals in the center of the desk.

Any lingering doubts that Tegan really did instigate all this mayhem immediately fade from my mind. “Mr. Wentworth, I don’t know how familiar you are with expensive liquors, but that right there is a thousand-dollar bottle of vodka. My daughter doesn’t have the means to procure such a fine spirit, fake ID or not. If you want to find a culprit, I suggest you look at the size of the trust funds of the other pupils involved.”

Mr. Wentworth seems at a loss for words, so I seize the opportunity to ensure Tegan’s continued enrollment at this school. “Given what we have discussed, I’m sure we can both agree Tegan should receive an equal punishment to the other students implicated and be charged with a simple suspension.”

“Very well.” The principal’s lips have become even thinner. “Tegan will be charged with a three-day suspension which, provided no other incidents occur, will not be reported on her record. Your daughter will still be expected to complete all her coursework in these three days and turn in her homework on time. The suspension will carry over the weekend, and she also won’t be able to play in Saturday’s volleyball game against Billard.”

Tegan’s head snaps up; she’s about to protest, but I silence her with a stare of death. Missing a game will be a severe lesson and a harsher punishment than anything I may come up with.

Mr. Wentworth keeps speaking, “Also, for the following two weeks, all six students must attend an hour-long mandatory detention before first period.”

Ah, my share of the sentence for being a terrible mom has arrived. I see my already sleep-deprived self lose even more rest. If Tegan has to be up an hour early, so do I. Unless I want Mr. Wentworth dragging me in here again because of her tardiness.

The Head of School concludes his reprimand with a condescending, “And I suggest you spend some time explaining to your daughter the pitfalls of underage drinking.”