“Baby, I know he seems…” I don’t know what I want to say… Amazing? Reliable? Perfect? “Look, when I had you, I promised myself I’d never let someone I couldn’t depend on one hundred percent into our lives. I won’t make an exception for Lucas.”

“Why don’t you trust him? Is it because he didn’t show up for your second date?”

The hair at the back of my neck prickles. I never share details of my private life with my daughter, exactly because I don’t want my burdens to become hers. Especially not since Lucas is still her therapist and is helping her cope with her father’s rejection better than I could’ve ever hoped. So how does she know I was stood up? I didn’t tell her. Did he? Did he use their sessions to offload himself on her, instead of facilitating her recovery? Did Lucas put her up to this?

With a heart suddenly made of steel, I ask, “How do you know Lucas stood me up? Did the two of you discuss it?”

“No.”

“Then how?”

“Mom.” Tegan looks up, her eyes streaked with tears and big with fear. Why is she afraid? “I have to tell you something,” she continues in a wobbly voice, “but can you please promise not to send me off to boarding school?”

I stiffen on my side of the couch. “You know I can’t make that promise,” I say, trying to keep my tone even and calm. “If you have something to confess, be ready to accept the consequences.”

“Okay.” She swallows and looks back at the carpet. “Remember the night of your second date with Luke, when I told you I was going to the movies with Jesse and to maybe grab a bite to eat later?”

“Yes?”

“It was a lie. We went to a house party in the Upper East Side. Our friend Josh’s parents were away for the weekend and he and his older brother were hosting, so Jesse’s sister was invited as well.”

I grip the couch cushions to prevent myself from screaming. I want to hear the full story first, and she’ll never tell me if I start shouting. So I keep quiet as Tegan spills out the rest.

“We went on the subway together, and we agreed we’d split a cab home. When we got to Josh’s house… there was… alcohol at the party…”

I grip harder.

“I had a beer or two, and I was totally fine.”

I swear, the casualty with which Tegan says she drinks beer is killing me, but still, I remain silent.