I sigh and close the scratchpad I was taking notes on. I recognize a lost cause when I see one. “Mr. and Mrs. Friedman, I’m sorry, but my professional opinion is that you’re past counseling as a couple.” And I surprise even myself when, next, I add, “If you need a divorce lawyer, I can recommend a wonderful attorney. And you wouldn’t even have to change buildings; Miss Hessington works just next door.”

Once I’ve shown the Friedmans to the door, I sit at my desk and replace the landline receiver. Then I check my phone for messages. None. But there are three missed calls, all from Listen to Your Heart. Jennifer won’t give up, and I’d rather rip the Band-Aid instead of spending the morning dreading her next attempt, so I call her back.

“Dr. Keller!” my Dating Specialist picks up on the first ring. “How great to hear from you. Sorry I wasn’t able to reach out sooner, but the weekends are always a busy time. I wanted to collect your feedback on your date Thursday night. Did you enjoy your evening?”

“Yes,” I reply truthfully.

“And did you feel you and Miss Di Mauro were compatible?”

Like always, she sticks to our aliases instead of real names.

“Yes, but—”

“How wonderful,” Jennifer cuts me off in a wave of enthusiasm. “And if Miss Di Mauro also gives me positive feedback, would you be interested in a second date?”

“No.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said I don’t want a second date with Mira.”

“But… why?”

“There was no spark.”

“No spark,” Jennifer repeats, and then takes a brief pause. Did I finally rock her boat?

Nuh-uh. Two seconds are enough for her to recover and get back on the warpath. “Okay, Dr. Keller, you’re a tough nut to crack, but I don’t give up easily. What if we tried something different for a change?”

“Different how?” I ask warily.

“Well, you’re not hitting it off with the women best suited for you, so… How about we try matching you with someone completely wrong for you on paper? You know, try an ‘opposites attract’ strategy.”

“Wouldn’t that be a recipe for disaster?”

“Well, Dr. Keller, everything we’ve tried so far hasn’t worked, so it’s time to think outside the box. Or do you no longer want to find true love?”

Despite my better judgment, I agree with Jennifer’s crazy idea. One more terrible date won’t kill me, and at least I’ll be able to ask for a refund afterward.

***