“What makes you think this is about Doll?” I make a failed attempt at indifference, but saying her name, I can’t help but smile.

“Ummm…I don’t know fucker. You smile every damn time you say her name. You never fucking smile, Tripp.” He replies as he’s laughing at me.

“I fucking smile.”

“No, you don’t. You’re mister serious all the damn time. Even when you’re fuckin’ a bitch, you’re still straight faced.” He’s holding his stomach laughing at me.

“You been in my bedroom watching me fuck? You’re a sick prick if that’s the case. How do you know I don’t smile while I’m balls deep in a bitch?”

The more I think about it, when was the last time I laughed or smiled out of a happy moment or thought. Only when it comes to Doll. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I laughed at a TV show.

I elbow Rex in the ribs for being right. Spotting the girls waving for us, we make our way inside the restaurant.

“We’ve all fucked bitches in public. Hell, on the last transport, you fucked a random chick against the outside wall of the state line visitor center. Luckily it was a back corner because damn man, kids could’ve walked right up. You never smiled, Tripp. You’re my club Prez, you’re my cousin, and damn it you’re my best friend. I’m always keepin’ an eye out for you.”

“Fuck, I wasn’t thinking at the rest area.”

I rub a hand across my chest as it constricts, getting tighter with these thoughts. Since meeting Doll, I haven’t been thinking straight. She was on my mind during that transport. I needed a release, the chick was willing, and I’m an ass for taking her up on it.

“You gotta fuck that one outta your system, man.” He says as we approach the girls.

“Damn it, I hate when you’re right.” I reply as we sit down at the table the girls got for us.

“Right about what?” Sass asks a mischievous look in her eyes. “Rex doesn’t strike me as the brains of this operation.”

“Got jokes, Sass?” Rex replies, laughing again.

We spend the rest of our meal in easy banter. Since Rex pointed out my seriousness, I’ve relaxed more. I do smile around Doll. She brings out so much more in me. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.

13

(Tennessee)

He Went to Jared’s and Not for Jewelry

We’ve long since crossed over into Tennessee. I made sure to have Tripp stop at the visitor center so I could pick up my map. It’s a tradition I’ve had since I was a little girl. My dad always stops at the welcome center, and I get a map. Later, I stare at it and figure out which roads we were on and trace it out. I have maps from when I was six or seven still. Some people take pictures, collect key chains, or other tourist novelties. I collect maps.