“Tank, damn it, wake up.” I begin speaking before I can stop myself. “Sass is missing you man. Don’t make her stress. Hell, I’m missing you. Wake up and shake this off.” Nothing. No movement, no change.

I continue to sit there and blankly stare at my friend. Thoughts invade of the brothers lost in the Delatorre fallout. We can’t lose Tank too. Thinking of Sass sitting here day in and out trying to bring him back to her, my chest hurts. Time is short, tomorrow isn’t promised as Doll tells me constantly.

Making the call to Lucy isn’t easy, but doing it with Tank here, in his situation keeps it in perspective. Deciding to forgive my mother isn’t an easy task. The conversation isn’t long. It’s straight forward. It’s an agreement that she goes to rehab to get sober, and I will to get to know her when she’s cleaned up. I want to know my mom for who she is, not the person she’s become because of the alcohol.

Finishing the call, I sit back. Is Doll willing to leave Haywood’s Landing for me? Is what we’re building strong enough for her to leave what she knows behind? The more I ponder, the more I look over at Tank unmoving in the bed. Watching him lifeless like this, and being helpless to do anything is killing me.

“You’re stronger than this. You’re a mother fuckin’ Hellion. Wake your ass up and let’s ride.” I say over him, hoping for something. He’s got to pull out of this.

Leaving the hospital, I’m lost for my brother, but I’m completely sure of what I want in life.

37

We Gonna Do This

Tripp spent the night with me. Waking up with him feels right. In a wild moment of passion last night, I almost slipped and told him I love him. It was on the tip of my tongue. As much as I may feel for this man, I don’t know if he’s there with me yet. Tripp is obviously giving me more than he’s given any other woman, but that doesn’t mean he’s in love with me.

Insecurities build inside of me. What the hell am I doing? Walking away from everything I know and rely on for a relationship that’s one sided. At least I will have Caroline there for me. Moving from the bed, Tripp stirs beside me.

“Go back to sleep, babe. I have to get ready for work.” I say, trying to settle him back into his slumber. Without a word, his arms snake around my waist, pulling me naked over to him. Leaning over I kiss him gently. “I have to go to work, Tripp. This will make me late, you’re not quick.”

“You want it quick, darlin’, I’ll give it to you quick.” He says with a smile full of unspoken orgasms.

Maneuvering out of his hold, I jump up. “Meet me in the shower and let’s see if you can make it quick.”