We pack up our stuff. Rex is staying behind to catch up on stuff while Tripp makes the drive home. Holding in my tears, I load my bag into his truck. If I had known yesterday would be my last ride with Tripp, I would’ve held on tighter or something. This feels awkward to know our time is over.

Sass settles herself in the back of the crew cab Silverado. Tripp climbs in, once we’re on the road, he takes my hand in his and spends the entire drive rubbing circles over my hand with his thumb. God, this sucks. I don’t want this to end.

Outside of the chatter Sass and I share about housing possibilities the ride is relatively quiet. Tripp’s phone rings quite a few times, some he answers, some he doesn’t. Pulling into the compound, my chest hurts. Physical pain consumes every inch of me. Is this what a panic attack feels like? I can’t do it; I can’t let him go.

A few of the guys are standing out front with my dad, Danza, and Frisco as we get out. Tripp grabs our bags as I rush over to hug my dad. I get the usual grunt response. He’s not the most affectionate man. Before I can say anything else, I hear Sass ask her dad.

“Where’s Tank?” All the guys tense as Danza responds. Everything I thought I knew changes in an instant.

“Sass, there was an incident.”

Putting her hand on her hip, her face reddening in anger and frustration, “what the fuck do you mean there was an incident? Where the hell is Tank?”

“Sass, calm the fuck down.” Danza says trying to tame the outburst building in his daughter. Tripp is suddenly beside me, his arms wrapped around my waist.

“He’s in the hospital. He’s been shot. He’s in a coma and it’s not good.” Danza says immediately dropping his head in anguish.

My knees give out from under me, and the only thing holding me up is Tripp. Sass falls into Danza’s chest crying. Leaning back into Tripp, I realize he knew.

“You fucking knew.” I say turning to face him as he drops his hands from my waist. “You fucking knew and you didn’t tell her.”

My dad steps over to me to pull my shoulder back. “It was my call not to tell y’all, not his.”

Hurt and scared for Tank, I can’t see past my tunnel vision that I was blindsided. All this time, Tripp knew. Yet, he let us walk into this. I need to get away from all of this. I need to get my best friend to Tank. We need to see him; she needs to see him.

“Where’s my fuckin’ car?” I scream walking over to Sass. Tripp reaches out for me and I shrug him off.

“Get the hell off me. Don’t you dare touch me! You knew damn it. You fuckin’ knew. All of you fuckin’ knew.”

Sass is crying on my shoulder as she starts to straighten up. She’s pulling herself together, realizing we need to get out of here and go see him. He’s one of the brother’s we’re both closest to, especially Sass. My dad pulls my car keys out of his pocket. I grab them from him.