“No,” I admitted. “It’s not. I wish it was. But you’re right. I do need to decide what’s best for me on my own.”

I just didn’t want my rush of recent confidence to be as temporary as Tabitha’s time here. Because right now, it felt flimsy enough to fall apart at the slightest pressure.

28. Tabitha

Twenty-Eight

Tabitha

I dragged my pack out from against the wall and set it on its side. I’d been avoiding starting this task all week. But now I only had forty-eight hours left before my flight to Austin.

I couldn’t delay any longer.

I focused on the task at hand—folding every single bit of laundry I had and shoving it into this pack where it would immediately get wrinkled again. My hand landed on the pile of new things I’d be bringing with me—a sweatshirt from the Broad Street Diner. Drawings that Juliet had done for me. The novel being read next month in Kathleen’s book club.

So much for packing light.

I tried to swallow around a lump in my throat that wouldn’t go away. I’d spent a lot of time with my family over these past five days. I cooked brunch for Alexis and Eric while Juliet ran around the kitchen. I had a hilarious spa day with Kathleen. Last night I’d sat at the counter in the diner, chatting with my dad during the slow periods and editing videos about the park on my laptop during the rush.

I had stepped back into their lives—back into my life—so seamlessly I’d gone and gotten attached again. But I also spent those moments with them embroiled in a slowly twisting guilt, tightening like a screw. It was a reminder of what I was missing. And a reminder of everything I could lose if I spilled my secrets. So I kept my smile cheery and hoped my mental tap dancing wasn’t noticeable.

My laptop pinged twice with incoming emails. It was open on the coffee table next to where I knelt in front of a pile of laundry that had somehow gotten bigger since I arrived. I leaned over and checked it.

One was from Meghan, summarizing our meeting yesterday and checking in on my first few working days in Austin. The team’s loving your ideas, the message said. Can’t wait to get started!

The second email was a confirmation from the hotel I’d be staying in for the first week. As soon as I arrived, I needed to find a place to stay, figure out my next contract, and learn a brand-new city where I knew no one and no one knew me.