The realization that my time home was essentially over hit me like a literal ton of bricks. I’d taken my own relationship advice—stay in the present, don’t think about the future—to such an extreme that I was boarding a flight to Texas in two days and had done nothing but dodge it like it was a monster under the bed.

I only had myself to blame for my lack of preparedness. I’d been suspended in a state of Dean bliss. Spending time with him had become seamless too. Every moment together felt as intoxicating as it did normal—the way he blushed every time our fingers touched in the dirt when we planted seeds. The careful attention he paid to his neighbors when they wanted to add something to the park. The stack of cat food he left on Eddie’s stoop one morning when he thought I wasn’t looking.

I had no boundaries or limits that could suitably encompass a man like Dean. Every night we had sex so hot it melted my brain. Every morning I woke to the sound of Dean’s heartbeat. And the contentment melted my brain in a different kind of way.

Crunch-crunch-crunch.

Butterflies sprang to life inside my rib cage. I’d become finely attuned to the sounds of Dean. Biting my lip, I stood and stepped around the leaning piles of clothing.

Crunch-crunch-crunch.

I peeked out through the curtain and saw him pacing on the sidewalk with a rigid posture. He wore jeans, boots, and a black T-shirt, which was about as fancy as he got. With a smile already forming on my face, I pushed the door open and hung out the side of it.

“You know you’re very cute when you’re pacing,” I said.

That lopsided grin appeared on his face, but I could sense his nerves from here. I hooked my finger into the collar of his shirt and dragged his face close so I could kiss him.

“I know I promised you company,” he said.

“You did.”

“Do you have plans for dinner?”

“My plan was laundry and takeout,” I admitted.

He rocked back on his heels. “I’m on my way to family dinner. Would you like to come with me?”

Now I knew why he was nervous. I’d spent the past two weeks casually spending time with the whole of Dean’s extended family on this block. I’d accidentally gotten drunk with Midge and Maria my second night here.

This was different. His outfit, his nerves. The way he said would you like to come with me like he was asking me on a date. I knew, this close to leaving, the more emotionally attached I got the more painful it would be. If I’d truly wanted to hold Dean at arm’s length though, I shouldn’t have begun opening my heart in the first place.