A couple leaving the hospital with two babies in matching navy carry seats bustled by her. Liv loved twins, well, she’d been one herself. But Rachel had died before her twenty-fifth birthday. Cancer – what else. She still talked to her regularly (in her head, not out loud – she wasn’t completely nuts!) She even still regularly wrote notes to Rachel in her journal, just to keep her up to speed with how life was going. Sometimes, she felt a striking pressure to live life well enough for both of them.

She sneaked a peek at the baby nearest to her. It was a perfect baby boy with a powder-blue hat falling down about his ears. He was all scrunched-up features and balled-up hands. She imagined being in that woman’s shoes right now. Bringing home not one, but two newborn babies. What could be more perfect? Christmas with twins! It sounded like the title of a romcom, but Liv felt it was exactly the sort of happy ending she wanted her own life to turn into. The woman looked tired, completely washed out, but then everything about her changed as she peeked into the carry chair she’d popped up on the seat next to her and Liv was glad. It would be a shame to have two lovely new babies and not be transported to a state of complete and utter bliss at just having them close by.

The alarm on her phone reminded her it was time to get back to A&E. She tidied away the empty paper cup and slipped her phone back in her bag, giving one last glance across at the new mother who seemed to be completely lost in rapturous contentment. Bliss.

*

It felt as if no-one told people on her ward that it was Christmas Eve. When she returned it was ten times busier than when she left.

‘You should have called me,’ she said to Francine who was putting a lot more effort into making space for incoming patients than any of the innkeepers in Bethlehem two thousand and more years earlier.

‘Don’t be daft – you deserved your break.’ Francine was lovely. She was a very hands-on nursing manager, but she still managed to keep on top of everything else that needed to be done to keep the ward moving at a safe and efficient rate. ‘Anyway, this is the least of our worries.’ Her expression was weary as she looked along the corridor where a line of trolleys ran with patients waiting to be transferred to examination cubicles that wouldn’t be free for a few more hours probably.

‘Oh?’ Liv knew that already two of the nurses and one of the orderlies had to go home early with the winter vomiting bug. She’d spent over half her dinner break disinfecting the whole ward to try and curb any chance of it being spread to the patients being admitted.