Would every New Year be like this from now on? It didn’t bear thinking about and yet, she couldn’t imagine it any other way. The swamp of sadness that she’d slipped into so suddenly on realising that Pete was being pulled away from her by Anya seemed to be one that was so deep and cloying it felt as if she’d never properly make her way back onto firm ground again, even if she wanted to.

Liv dropped down onto the bank. The ground, cold and wet, seeping through her jeans, didn’t even register properly beyond the discomfort of her hip as she smashed her knees against the cobbled bank. It hit her now, Rachel’s hip had always given her pain. She’d been born with a congenital hip, a legacy of two babies squashed together, for what ended up being forty-two weeks and then breech births, which had landed them both in intensive care for a few days afterwards. She knelt there, watching the fireworks – green, red, purple, gold and silver – illuminate the night. On the bridge above her, she noticed some people lingering. There was something familiar about them, the woman in particular. It almost made Liv catch her breath. She turned away then. It was too painful to watch such contentment at this late hour.

A huge golden rocket took off and exploded so high that Liv had to lean her head back, her mouth slightly open, gaping at the spectacle. And another, not as set on its path, deviated and seemed to burn out before its time, while the first just kept on going. That was like her and Rachel. Twins. They’d been a matching pair. Identical. The one life ended before it had much of a chance to start; the other, well, Liv didn’t have far to look to see what an empty sham she’d allowed hers to become.

Too often, when the chips were down, she’d wondered what would Rachel have done. What kind of life would she be living now if their paths had been switched? Probably, she’d have married Pete, had a swarm of kids and a great big golden retriever. Overhead, the rocket seemed to have played itself out and in the smoky darkness it left behind Liv felt an overwhelming sense of loss crush her once again. She hadn’t felt desolation overwhelm her on this level, not since Rachel died.