I wanted to believe that everything would be okay, that I was going to somehow survive on my own, but my nerves kept bubbling up inside of me and I couldn’t let them take over. I needed to be able to think straight if I was going to honor Declan’s demand that I stay alive until he could find a way to get me to Sel’Ani.

I scrubbed myself down with soap, trying to wash the fear and prison stink down the drain. When I’d scrubbed so much that my skin turned red, I started on my hair.

Declan had said a lot of things in the courtroom, but he’d also kissed my neck and slapped me. Both were massively distracting. My face was still sore from the slap, and the spot on my neck was so hot it was like I’d been branded. I knew the slap had all been for show—he had a cover to maintain—but the kiss?

What the hell was that kiss about?

I pressed my hand to my neck. The feel of Declan’s lips against my neck had me wondering so many things, but none of them were important. Not when I had to focus on surviving.

Declan said he needed four weeks. In the grand scheme of things, that wasn’t very long, but I didn’t know what Abaddon was going to be like. The only way to survive was by shoving that kiss out of my mind and focusing on little wins. I switched the shower off and wrapped myself in a towel.

For now, I’d count the shower as my first win. It might not be a big deal, but it was a start. The water had been perfectly hot and steamy. It didn’t stink of the chemicals they used to scrub all the pollution out of the water. I had soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The fake floral scent wasn’t my favorite, but anything was better than what I’d smelled like before my shower.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start to thinking positive. I was going to do this. I was going to survive. Jason Murtagh was going to regret messing with me by the time this was all said and done.