“Yes. It’s bio in nature. They’ve turned their lucole into a powder, and it won’t be good for anyone with Aunare blood if it’s released.” He took a long, steadying breath. “We’ve been busy with our allies. The next few weeks will be interesting, but war is imminent. We finally all agree on that count. The videos of you on Abaddon—”

“No.” I wasn’t talking about those videos. I hated—hated—that parts had been released when we were racing from SpaceTech, but I understood. “Please tell me you didn’t release more of them.”

“We did.” This time he couldn’t keep the emotion from his face.

He was guilty, but not sorry. The way he never looked away from my gaze told me that. “Our allies asked to see more before deciding to go to war. So I went through all the recordings, showed them enough, and Declan, Ahiga, and I spoke on your behalf. We also exposed our side of what was dubbed Liberation Week on Earth. Your mother spoke of the suffering of the Aunare and halfers across the colonies.”

“You went through all of them?” My voice cracked at the end, but I couldn’t help it. I already felt stripped bare with him. If he’d seen those videos, I wasn’t sure I could ever feel anything but exposed around him. I stared at the sheets, unable to look at him.

“Declan said you have nothing to be ashamed of, and in this, I agree. You don’t look weak. I wish you could see them like I—”

I glanced back at him. “No. I’m never watching them. I lived through it.” That alone was enough to give me nightmares forever.

I hated that everyone knew what Jason had done to me in that diner. Everyone in the known universe got to hear me begging to die as the nanos worked their way through my system. They’d seen me afraid and alone and at my most vulnerable.

It’d been bad enough that I’d shown him any of it while on his ship, but now he’d seen everything.

“Stop.” Lorne’s sharp tone cut through my thoughts like he could read my mind plain as day. “Your suffering rallied our allies. If that upsets you, try to remember that having our allies back us in this war will only strengthen us when we take down SpaceTech.”

I swallowed down my embarrassment. “You watched them. That’s why you understood what I meant?”

“No. That’s not how I knew.” I wanted to ask more questions, but he kept talking. “All of your friends from Abaddon have been what I believe you call under house arrest, but they should be cleared soon.”

He didn’t want to talk about it—maybe he was still mad about my lie—so I let it go. “Can I see them?”