SAM. No, no you’re, you’re very, I mean you’re an attractive, / a very –

MIRANDA. So Friday night? You want to get a drink?

,

No, I was joking anyway, that’s how we roll in this office, you’ll get used to it. But I am seeing other people. I just want to make sure you understand that. It’s not fair otherwise.

SAM. No I appreciate your honesty.

MIRANDA. And I hope you don’t mind me saying but you’re overqualified for the job.

SAM. Really?

MIRANDA. On paper. That surprises you? Aidan’s given you an excellent reference. What do you think of Aidan?

SAM. He’s been an inspiration to me. It’s been a, privilege, an honour, to work with someone with such a, such a visionary attitude towards print journalism.

MIRANDA. He’s a troglodyte.

SAM. Right.

MIRANDA. Don’t you think?

SAM. Yes.

MIRANDA. You agree that he is a troglodyte?

SAM. A bit.

MIRANDA. I’m not completely naive, I do understand that C2DEs make different demands to ABC1s, I do understand that while he might belong in the latter he has to cater for the former so there’s maybe some degree of, whatever, conflict for him there, and of course the market dictates content so I do understand, yeah, that that’s just his job, that’s the climate but still.

She takes a sip of water.

He’s a piece-of-shit troglodyte.

,

MIRANDA moisturises her hands.

SAM. Well. I wouldn’t be sitting here if it wasn’t for Aidan, so.

MIRANDA. He didn’t get you this interview.

SAM. But. When you called. You said I’d been recommended, I assumed he –

MIRANDA. Aidan wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, lovely, one of our present employees recommended you.

She picks up SAM’s CV, scans it.

SAM. Who?

MIRANDA. What?

SAM. Who recommended me?

MIRANDA. You’ve got a very good degree.

SAM. One of your employees –

MIRANDA. From a good university.

SAM. Doesn’t mean anything though, does it? These days.

MIRANDA. No. Electra is a largely female-run publication. That’s just how it is. You won’t mind being at the bottom of the ladder in an office full of women?

SAM. Of course not.

MIRANDA. This is just a question I ask all of our male applicants.

SAM. I won’t mind.

MIRANDA. You might. Over time.

SAM. I won’t.

MIRANDA. Others have.

SAM. I need this job. I really really need it.

MIRANDA. The climate.

SAM. I’ve been out of work nine months. I’m about to lose my flat.

A knock at the door.

MIRANDA. We’re all about to lose our flats, lovely. Metaphorically speaking, come in!