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Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. PART I
  6. ONE
  7. TWO
  8. THREE
  9. FOUR
  10. FIVE
  11. SIX
  12. SEVEN
  13. EIGHT
  14. NINE
  15. PART II
  16. TEN
  17. ELEVEN
  18. TWELVE
  19. THIRTEEN
  20. FOURTEEN
  21. FIFTEEN
  22. SIXTEEN
  23. SEVENTEEN
  24. EIGHTEEN
  25. NINETEEN
  26. PART III
  27. TWENTY
  28. TWENTY-ONE
  29. TWENTY-TWO
  30. TWENTY-THREE
  31. TWENTY-FOUR
  32. TWENTY-FIVE
  33. TWENTY-SIX
  34. INTERLUDE
  35. PART IV
  36. TWENTY-SEVEN
  37. TWENTY-EIGHT
  38. TWENTY-NINE
  39. THIRTY
  40. THIRTY-ONE
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. INTERLUDE
  45. PART V
  46. THIRTY-FIVE
  47. THIRTY-SIX
  48. THIRTY-SEVEN
  49. THIRTY-EIGHT
  50. PART VI
  51. THIRTY-NINE
  52. FORTY
  53. FORTY-ONE
  54. FORTY-TWO
  55. FORTY-THREE
  56. FORTY-FOUR
  57. FORTY-FIVE
  58. INTERLUDE
  59. PART VII
  60. FORTY-SIX
  61. FORTY-SEVEN
  62. FORTY-EIGHT
  63. FORTY-NINE
  64. FIFTY
  65. FIFTY-ONE
  66. FIFTY-TWO
  67. PART VIII
  68. FIFTY-THREE
  69. FIFTY-FOUR
  70. FIFTY-FIVE
  71. FIFTY-SIX
  72. EPILOGUE
  73. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  74. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  75. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“Have you ever had a perfect moment?” Alan asked, his face brightening. “A perfect little memory, that’s just yours? I had one a few months ago. We all had too much to drink. Will wasn’t there, I forget why. Elena was bumping shoulders with me, laughing at something I said, and then she leaned over and kissed my neck! Or, at least, I think she did. I can’t really remember. I was too drunk when it happened to know what to do, and a few seconds later it was too late to react anyway. So I just pretended it wasn’t a big deal. It was perfect, you know? It’s mine, I can hold onto that. And if it happens again, I’ll know what to do. I’ll react faster. I just need the right circumstances again, right?”

Robin might have let it lie, but he knew the recklessness such a thing could turn into. “She doesn’t love you,” he said.

“I don’t need her to. I just want some of those perfect moments. Now and then. I’m fine with that, I swear.” Robin was well familiar with the bargain Alan had made with himself. There was nothing so cruel as unrequited love. It was a thing too cruel to even call love at all—it was obsession, and Alan would cling to those little nuggets of hope. Those beautiful-terrible moments that made life livable-unbearable.

But it was something to live for, at least. There was still that.

A distant nothing noise distracted them. Robin looked up, noting that the thin colored ribbons they hid in the trees had become more obvious in autumn’s depths, even though no random wanderer could decipher their purpose. Still, Robin’s heart froze cold when he saw, in the distance, the shape of a thin man in a blue cloak, head cocked upward at one of the ribbons tied to a bough above him.

Instinct kept Robin calm, his muscles limp rather than rigid. For a few heavy moments he didn’t move, then he concealed himself silently behind a nearby low thicket. The stranger shifted rather precisely in various directions, the third of which left him staring directly at Alan. To Robin’s horror, it appeared Alan’s instincts in this situation were to put his hands out to his sides in the hopes of looking like a tree.