He closed the door dramatically on Hadrian, who of course opened it again a moment later. But John enjoyed himself nonetheless. He sprinted up the circular stairs that spiraled up the inner wall of the tower to his official guest room. Hadrian would probably worry all night that John would dress him in women’s clothes the next day with a wig on his head.

Poor Red Roger, John thought, you could have been an entertaining sheriff.

Needing ink and well, he called for Gay Wally, who hid his resentment of being used for such clerical tasks. John also asked for the edict that Waleran de Beaumont had left for him to sign.

“I should appoint Robin Hood as the next sheriff. Wouldn’t that be a thing.”

“Did you not promise the Earl of Warwick the title to his son?” Wally asked it in that polite way that was not actually a question.

“Look at you,” John applauded. “Did you listen in on everything today?”

Wally didn’t respond, but he might have blushed.

“My apologies, boy, but I’ve been a terrible role model. Some lucky day when you get a girl naked yourself, you shouldn’t expect it to last as long as what you overheard today. That only comes with nearly perpetual practice.”

“I’ve been with a woman,” Wally said, stumbling only slightly on the word woman.

“How terrible for her. I wonder who is crueler with their little pricks, you or Red Roger?”

There was wine in the room, so he poured a glass for himself and, feeling reckless, one for the boy, too. “Yes, I did tell Waleran that his son would have the sheriff’s seat. But all I got in return was a blank promise. He had nothing else to offer. Red Roger offers to kill Robin Hood for me, but I don’t want him to do that at all. Thieves are fun, they make the world unpredictable. Waleran wants to make Nottingham a better place, he wants to rid it of corruption and disease. It’s all very noble. Sickeningly noble. Red Roger wants to make Nottingham a better place, too, in his own way. They want to make it better because their worlds are only as big as they can reach.”

John leaned in close now, as the boy brought a candle and wax without even being prompted. “Listen to me, now. This is important. Their worlds are so small, but mine is so big, don’t you see? They can’t make Nottingham healthy as long as England is diseased. They’re trying to put bandages on a finger, without realizing that the forearm is rotten. It needs to be cut off. If Nottingham were a better place…”

John shook his head. Tiny men have tiny goals.