“This was one of those moments when there was a clear before and after. She was never going to be the same again. Those minutes and hours in the time before seemed to stretch out of reach now. She was never going to get them back. There was only forward. Only what was ahead of her. And she had to face it.”

Silence falls over the shop. When I open my eyes, they’re all staring at me. But instead of telling me to leave and come back when I’m in my right mind, every one of them nods as if they completely understand.

“That’s nice, man. Where did it come from?” the burly guy asks.

“A book.” I clear my throat. “I’m an editor.”

“You got a design you like?”

I shake my head and huff a laugh. “No. Honestly, I didn’t even know I was doing this until I walked in.”

He narrows his eyes pensively, then motions for me to come back to his chair. “I got you,” he says.

And for the next several hours, he does have me. He takes such care to do the passage justice, and as he inks Scarlett’s words permanently onto my skin, I can’t help but feel this is also one of those moments with a clear before and after. I won’t walk out of here a new man, but giving my internal pain an external outlet is freeing in a way. I can see why people do this.

When I cry, he lets me. He must sense it’s not about the pain from the needle, because he doesn’t stop after the first time he asks me if I’m okay. When he’s done, he wipes away the blood and extra ink and assesses his work.

“She’ll always be with you,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder. “This is just a reminder.”

“Yeah,” I say, choking back more tears. “Thanks.”

After I pay the guy and leave, I expect to feel different, and I do in some ways. But in others, everything is exactly the same. Scarlett left. She’s not coming back. And now, somehow, I need to find a way to move on.

Chapter 35

Scarlett

“I feel like I should be wearing dark sunglasses and a giant scarf to hide my features,” Trina quips as she sits down in a chair next to me.

“What do you mean?” I don’t have the energy to play around or figure out what the hell she’s talking about. I’m amazed I even got myself to this coffee shop, but when she called and asked me to meet her, I also didn’t have the heart to say no. After that meeting and my encounter with Charles, I’m completely out of steam. If only someone could tell me what to do next. Maybe Trina has a plan.