I know I’m not supposed to let her get away with these little stories but it’s been a long day, we’re starving, and if I’m going to allow myself some room to process things and not freak out, I should probably do the same for Caitlyn.

*

After dinner, we both get ready for bed and crash on the couch to watch a Disney movie we’ve seen a hundred times before. By the end, Caitlyn is already fast asleep in her nightgown, drooling on my shoulder. I’m not too far behind.

The movie ends. I reach over, pick up the remote, and hit the power button. The screen goes dark.

There’s a man standing next to the television.

I throw a hand over Caitlyn, and quickly turn on the lamp on the end table, nearly knocking it over in the process.

The shadows are obliterated.

“Dad?” Caitlyn mumbles, rubbing her eyes. “What’s going on?”

I’m still shaking. I glance around the room. Caitlyn and I are alone.

“It’s okay, pumpkin. Sorry. Daddy was having a bad dream.”

She sits up, more asleep than awake. “About what?”

I finally take a deep breath and settle myself.

“Nothing. Come on; time for bed.”

Instead of getting up, she leans over and falls back asleep on my arm.

I smile. “That’s the way it’s gonna be, huh?”

She doesn’t argue as I gently lift her up. She only wraps her arms around my neck and rests her face against my shoulder.

I carry her to the foot of the stairs. I can’t help but look back one more time to the spot where I had seen the figure.

There’s no one there.

3

This is the worst night since the night Nicole died.

I’m lying in bed, sleeping on the left-hand side, because that’s where I always slept when Nicole and I shared this bed, staring at the darkness overhead, and I can’t stop crying. My muscles ache from the sobs that have been wracking my body. I’m worried that I’ll wake Caitlyn, but I can’t stop. I grab a pillow, go into the bathroom, and close the door. Using the pillow to stifle my cries, I sit on the cold floor and weep. I don’t care how this looks. Ego is nothing in the face of crushing grief.