When I arrived at the Nightingale House, I did my best to make myself presentable and walked to the porch. I checked under the pot on the table and found the key he told me about. My hands were shaking and I felt short of breath. There were so many things I wanted to ask him. I opened the door and went inside. I called out his name but there was no answer. I walked to the dining room, thinking that I might see him through the window, out by the lake. There was a note on the table. It read: They’re all in Boston. Join me upstairs.

I placed the items on the table and walked up the stairs. The bedroom door at the end of the hall was open.

I nervously pushed it open and found him waiting by the fireplace.

Without a word, he moved to kiss me, but I stepped back. He asked what was wrong and I told him what Patricia Fleming had said. He grew upset and said that Patricia Fleming was telling salacious stories. It had all been a misunderstanding that was in the past. He also told me that Patricia Fleming was just jealous of me, because he had turned down her advances some time ago.

I asked him what his feelings were towards me.

He told me how beautiful I was. How much he cared for me and how empty he felt without me.

The w

22

I’ve been sitting here at the dining room for hours, staring at Nicole’s ring, when Caitlyn arrives home from school.

Caitlyn stops when she sees the ring on the table in front of me. She doesn’t look surprised or scared, as if she knew what she was going to find when she walked through the door.

“How was school?” I mechanically ask. It’s an absurd question. It’s a reflex; some part of me is desperately trying to deny what’s happening, because that would make it real.

“Katherine wanted to show you she was sorry.”

This isn’t happening. This isn’t real.

“… I’m going to go to my room,” she says.

She waits for a response I can’t formulate and goes upstairs.

*

The sun goes down, and I’m still at this table.

I’m trying to rationalize this. Maybe Caitlyn found it on the shore and put it in her pocket. That has to be what happened. She’s trying to reinforce the existence of her imaginary friend. That’s all. Everything else can be attributed to my lack of sleep, the stress, what had happened with Denise, what’s happening with Caitlyn … right?

I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with what’s right in front of me but I can’t ignore it. This is what it must feel like to have a psychotic break.