P.S. Do not scan photos and send them to me. It’s obvious that your new look is an attempt to transform yourself into a second Lisa. You’re not her. You looked fine the old way. This new look is pathetic. I mean (LOL)—it’s not you. Dig? Assemble your senses and quit pulling crap.

to: CC14

re: Malicious Slander

date sent: February 16, 1999

In no way, shape, or form do you appear in the book, I swear! And Lisa neither. Jesus, baby! How crass do you think I am?

Xxxs

A.

to: CC14

re: Touching Reunion

date sent: February 17, 1999

I told you Bob would come back and I also told you you would despise him if he did. But look at it like this—you were totally freaked when he walked—a fucking basket case. I don’t know how you can be so cool in the ER and such a hysteric in real life. You should take a lesson from Benjamin Franklin and eradicate jealousy from your list of emotions. If you can do that, great deeds await you, babe. As for this resident you’re dicking—it’s simple infatuation and it will pass. The only way for two people to live happily ever after is for them to get killed in a car crash on their third date. I mean, name the happy couples you know—you can probably count them on one hand. Falling in love is extremely hazardous. Just don’t expect anything from people and enjoy them while it lasts. As for Bob—fuck Bob. He’s a loser. Divorce him.

Hey, last night I fucked a blond lawyer. Harvard grad. Patrician. Not bad for a greaseball, huh?

Yrs,

Da Fonz

to: CC14

re: Nice Reviews, Tiger

date sent: February 22, 1999

Yeah: Time, Newsweek, People, USA Today, Boston Globe—all raves. Nielsens are good. Another Emmy? Well, don’t be surprised, I won’t be. Anyhow, thank you, my dear. One irksome development: Did you see the LA Times review? The script got trashed. Reviewers? Some asshole who wants to be a scriptwriter and can’t hack it, pissed off at the whole world. Well, fuck him! I just might go look up the cocksucker and inject a little terror in his life. Or hire some thugs to do it for me.

Yrs,

Wild Bill

to: CC14

re: Now What Do I Do?

date sent: February 28, 1999