The Gang of Four came out to greet me and Judith. “Long time, no see. How very good to have you back. What a delight! Whatever you want is on the house, Mr. Marzuki.” After all, Louis Marzuki was pretty much legend, come to think of it.

Suddenly all my bad thoughts vanished. It was as if I had been invited back into the brotherhood of mankind. They were just some Chinese waiters but it didn’t matter, I espied visions of glory. Wow! Snap your fingers. It can happen that fast. Sir Edmund Marzuki. I slipped into the men’s room and coated my throat with a little olive oil I purloined from Vito’s. When the waiter brought our food, not only the Gang of Four but a good many patrons hovered nearby to see me patiently savor the palate-blistering goodness of the No. 5 Szechuan Chicken.

“Heut enough, Mr. Marzuki?” the manager inquired.

“Fair,” I said, pulling a bottle of Mongolian Fire Oil from my jacket. I shook a copious quantity on a spring roll and devoured it in two bites.

Hard-as-nails Judith thought some sort of fakery was going on and asked for a sample bite. She barely got it down before she dropped her chopsticks and violently cocked her head to the side as her fingers reached up for her neck. I heard something pop like she broke her collarbone or cervical spine. She seemed frozen in this posture, looking like a woman dangling from the gallows in a hanging gone awry. “Wah!” she goes, like Jackie Gleason in some skit from The Honeymooners. Another volcano from hell! Ah ha ha ha!

“Louie, you ain’t taking your lithium,” she says in a gasp. And then she’s out in a Szechuan stupor.

Before we carried her out to the car I saw a glimmer of recognition in her eyes that acknowledged, yes, I was a Marzuki through and through and that the entree was, in fact, the No. 5 Szechuan. It was an unguarded look of real affection and I’m delighted to report that Judith has subsequently made a complete recovery. Also, I might add, to this day I have not heard a single cross word from this woman. It’s been a day shy of a week and nary a peep. In the medical world that’s pretty much considered a complete and total cure. Tra la. Heh heh. I got the world on a string. Seven times is a charm.

A Merry Little Christmas

from: tj34

to: CC14

date sent: December 23, 1998

subject: Re: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas!