Look, perhaps I did go too far, but you have to stop making these crazy threats. And calling up Lisa was not a good move. True, I did kiss her, but it was just one of those one-time things. Maybe you should tell her how you called me up at 2 A.M.: “Motherfucker! I hate you, you fucking cocksucker! I don’t care if I wake up the whole fucking house—I hate you. You ruined my life!” Tell Lisa that. Tell how you stormed and raged like a fucking maniac. You don’t think people in bed next to someone can’t hear screaming over a telephone? Jesus! Talk about uncalled for.

Nonetheless I’m slightly sorry. I do have a measure of empathy and compassion. But you knew what I was when you got into it with me. You were forewarned. Now you say you’re dicking Seth Holmes, that cornball anesthesiologist? You better watch out. You’ll get caught and Bob will slap divorce papers on your ass before you can pull your panties back on. Really. You’re a fucking amateur, babe. You don’t want a divorce, believe me. So cool your jets. Okay? And don’t try to track me down again through the studio. My agent informed them never to disclose my whereabouts. Chill! You’ll be fine,

Sonny Barger

to: CC14

re: Oh Yeah! Well, You Can Kiss My Ass!

date sent: January 26, 1999

Hey, babe, calm the fuck down. I didn’t say you were insane per se. It’s just a figure of speech. Screwing a new guy? You’re playing with fire. Didn’t I tell you to watch your ass? Of course Bob suspects something. You changed your look. You are never home. That “on call” bullshit only goes so far. You are violating your pattern and you don’t know how obvious it is even to the unthinking dullards of the world. You wanna know something else? The way they really can tell you’re fucking somebody? Sex is different, that’s how. You can keep the same schedule and so on but it’s different. That’s the giveaway beyond. But it’s not conclusive eleventh-hour Perry Mason courtroom testimony. Bob doesn’t want to believe it. It’s your job to allay his fears. Whatever you do, admit to nothing. Deny it! He isn’t going to go anywhere. He’s just blowing off steam. It will pass. Just play it cool, okay?

Yours,

Dr. Zarkov

to: CC14

re: Ace, Man, You Are One Stupid Asshole!

date sent: January 29, 1999