‘I’m not,’ I squeaked. I wished I’d kept my mouth shut now. But it was killing me.

‘I’ll come up early. You can tell me all about it.’

‘OK,’ I said in a small voice.

‘Oh, Rose. You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?’

‘No,’ I lied. ‘Of course not.’

I hung up quickly.

In truth, of course, I was immobilised by the onslaught of such unexpected feelings. Mostly I just despised myself for falling so quickly. I told myself it was just the glimpse of escape Danny had afforded me, the stupid thought that he would accompany me on some kind of adventure, the kind I used to have before marriage and my children. But it wasn’t. It was him. I had recognised some kindred spirit in this man. But I couldn’t have him. It was all right and yet so wrong.

And this – this was the punishment for my infidelity. This pain. The fact that I was lower than when I began.

I was not a good woman any more; I had left the moral high ground.

The day before the party, Liam and Star arrived to help us prepare. There appeared to be an uneasy truce between my husband and his partner. A tension stretched between them I hadn’t ever known before and that I didn’t yet understand. I was still fuming with Liam and I avoided being in the same room as him because I didn’t trust myself. In the evening Star’s friend Katya arrived – a trapeze artist who would perform tomorrow night.

After supper James and Liam ensconced themselves in the studio; Star and Katya were playing dress-up with the children, painting Alicia and Effie’s faces like beautiful gaudy butterflies, Freddie’s like a tiger.

I took my cup of tea and slipped off to the marquee that was to pose as a chill-out space; I sat amongst the crates of wineglasses we had hired, and I finally made the phone call that I’d thought about for days, my fingers clumsy on the mobile’s keys. My stomach churned as I waited for it to connect, but there was no answer. I suppose I hadn’t thought there would be.

I took a deep breath, and I left a message.

‘I just wanted to tell you what I thought of – of what you said. All things considered.’

There was a noise behind me. The delivery men must be arriving with the sofas and the star-cloth. I spoke faster and quieter. ‘I am used to being in dodgy situations, but no one has ever threatened my kids. I’ve done what you asked. I’ve kept away. But I just wanted to tell you that no one, no one has really ever managed to make me feel quite so, quite so—’

James pushed his way through the marquee flap. I hung up quickly.

‘Who was that?’ he asked.

‘No one,’ I said.