I hadn’t been able to bear the bloodstains any more, so I’d hacked at it last night. The only time I had cried since James’s arrest; I’d sat amidst underlay and tacks and wool pile and sobbed.

I looked back at Danny. ‘Why are you here? I still don’t understand.’

‘Because I wanted to see you.’

‘Where’ve you been?’

‘Here and there.’ He looked at his watch. ‘I’m going to have to go, Rose. I’m sorry.’

I felt numb, like my soul was being sucked out, like I’d finally lost all sense of levity and joy. I knew we did not belong together. That much had become clear.

‘Danny?’

‘Aye.’

‘Did you know James has been arrested?’

He sat up and felt in his discarded jacket for a light. ‘I had heard, aye.’

‘Ash Kattan was here.’

‘When?’

‘The night James got arrested. Do you know why?’

‘Nope.’

I wanted to touch him and yet I couldn’t.

‘Can I ask you something else?’ I said quietly.

‘Go on.’

‘Was it because of the children?’

He lit the roll-up. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Did you vanish, did you hate the – the idea of me in the end because of the children?’

‘I don’t understand.’ He ran a hand through his hair; he looked tired. He rubbed his face as if to rouse himself.

‘Because I was not just me?’

‘Rose, it was nothing to do with your weans, I swear. Or you. Not in the way you think.’

‘What then?’

‘One day you’ll understand, pet.’ Danny inhaled deeply. He stared at the ceiling. Car headlights moved across it, two white discs sliding down the shadowed wall. ‘I promise you that.’

‘So why did you come back?’ I whispered. I would not cry again.

‘I came to find you – to tell you.’ He reached out and ran a hand down my ribcage. My stomach contracted. ‘I came to tell you that I was sorry.’

‘You came to find me, to say sorry,’ I was parroting again. ‘And that’s it?’

‘I’m good at finding things.’ The end of the roll-up was a tiny firefly in the darkness. ‘That’s what I do.’

I rolled back to him and stared down into his face. ‘Just not so good at keeping them.’

‘That may be true, Rose Miller. It may well be true.’ He looked up at me, the blue of his eyes doused by the dim light; and then he ran one finger down my cheek. I could feel the heat of the cigarette on my skin. ‘I wish I could stay.’

‘But you can’t.’

‘It’s not something I’m glad about.’

I moved my head away. ‘What are you glad about?’

‘Right now,’ Danny stood up fluidly and walked to the window, buttoning up his jeans, ‘not much.’

I watched him wordlessly.