I can’t remember ever being at my parents’ house at night with my father asleep and my mother awake. Invariably, my mother lay in bed while my father dictated medical charts by phone, painted lead soldiers, read in his library, or watched movies in bed while Mom snored under the influence of her sleeping pills. Only during the day would I find my father asleep and my mother awake. As soon as this realization hit me, I knew I had to go to my parents’ house. I calmed Annie as much as I could after waking her, but during the drive over, she quickly sensed my anxiety. I took her hand in mine and told her everything would be fine, but I’m not at all confident of this.

Together we get out of the car and walk hand in hand to the carport door. On the way over, I called Chief Logan and told him to warn his patrolmen that I would be coming, but I didn’t call my mother. Ringing the bell at this hour might frighten her, but I’m unwilling to let her manipulate me any longer. If I must choose between the truth and my father … I choose the truth.

“Who is it?” Mom calls through the door.

“Penn.”

“Penn? What on earth? Why didn’t you call?”

“Mom, it’s cold. And I have Annie with me. Open up!”

After five seconds of silence, she flips the bolt and opens the door. I see many emotions in her face, but fear is dominant. I also see one hand hidden in the pocket of her housecoat. Whatever she’s holding there looks heavy—probably the .38 Special my father gave her decades ago.

“Why don’t you make Annie some hot chocolate?” I say, slipping past her and into the kitchen.

“I don’t need any hot chocolate,” Annie says. “Gram? Are you okay?”

I walk into the den and toward the hallway that leads to their bedroom.

“Penn!” Mom calls after me. “Your father’s exhausted. Please don’t put any more stress on him today.”

With a last look back at her, I enter the dark hall and move along it, my heart pounding with dread. Her hurried footsteps rush up behind me.

“Penn, please don’t wake—”

I whirl on her, my face hot. “He’s not in there, is he?”

She takes a deep breath and looks at the floor.

“Mom?”

When she looks up, her eyes are red. “No.”