I bite the inside of my cheek. “She thinks it’s fine. She’s just happy the dreams have stopped.” But that is a lie. I’d just stopped taking the Ambien cold turkey. I’d only gone to one session with the psychiatrist, to get the prescription in the first place, and couldn’t stand the gurgling noise she made at the back of her throat, the way she kept trying to hide the run in her stockings. After that, I’d been too exhausted and disgusted to find anyone else.

“Damn. I never thought I’d see you look like this again. It brings me back.” She raises a bottle of prosecco in the air. “A little pregame before we leave?”

I take out two glasses and we sit on my floor, against the bed. Now that I’m off the sleeping pills, I can drink, and that puts Beth at ease. Because even if she hasn’t explicitly said it, I know she’s been missing the old me, maybe even more than I do. “Cheers!” I say, and we clink. The bubbles feel good gliding down my throat.

“So, who’s going to be there tonight? Besides the incredible Anneliese.” Beth puts on a falsetto when she says it, but I’m too happy to be offended.

“I’m not sure. Friends of hers? She said the reservation is at eight, and that was it.” I take another sip. I haven’t drunk in so long that I already feel the buzz shimmying through my brain.

“And it’s cool that I’m coming, right?” Beth looks good herself. She’s put on a dark lip, and her short hair is slicked back, showing her piercings.

“Yeah, of course. I told her you were. She said bring whoever, and it’s not like I have many choices these days.” Beth sticks her tongue out at me.

“What if it’s all old people? What do we do then? I may be in my midtwenties, but I’m not ready to get down with a bunch of fifty-year-olds.”

“Shut up. Anneliese is turning forty-three or something.”

A look of mock horror crosses Beth’s face. “Oh God. Middle age. Shoot me now. What if it’s contagious?” I laugh, finishing off my glass. “I can’t believe you have friends in their forties, though. Like, how weird.”

I stand up, making my way to the mirror to check on my makeup again. “I think you’ll like her. She has a very good vibe. She’ll make you feel at home.” I pat on some more foundation. I forgot how red I get when I drink.

“What if you guys get together? How hot would that be? Like every boy’s wet dream to fuck their nanny.” In the mirror I see her licking her lips hungrily, trying to get a rise out of me.

“You are so full of it. Anyway, that’s your style.”