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Back Nanny Dearest Save as PDF
Chapters (47)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. Part One
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. Part Two
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. Part Three
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

“I’m glad, Sue. Seriously, I am. I don’t think it’s stupid at all. I want you to be happy. That’s what we’ve all wanted for you.” But she’s distracted and turns toward the noise, loudly asking, “Who broke the glass? ’Fess up. It better not have been one of the new stemless ones. That’s why I bought Solo cups, people.” She puts up a finger, as if to tell me to wait, but I’ve gotten what I wanted from her. At least now she can’t accuse me of being a total misanthrope. Besides, it’s not like anyone here seems especially interested in getting to know me. So I slide back out the door and into the night.

6

July 1996

Every morning Annie wakes up at six in the small bedroom she now calls her own. She has put nothing from her home on the walls or on the night table, They are blank, unprocessed, devoid of any intimacy. She likes the crispness, the way that, after she makes her bed, fluffs the pillows, it’s like no one was asleep at all.

She spends a moment looking at herself nude in the full-length mirror attached to the closet door, rubbing her thick, muscular thighs, her pointed hips, tracing the curve from her pelvic bone to her vulva. In the early morning light, her red pubic hair looks ethereal, tinged with an otherworldliness that rises to her eyes, shadowed by the dim light. It is in these brief moments that she feels beautiful.

She realizes, during those early mornings, that part of the privilege of being rich is luxuriating in oneself. That having a full-length mirror, or three, like Mrs. Keller has, and taking the time to moisturize every inch of your body, and scenting your skin in a bath, and taking long moments just to admire yourself, are merely customary for those who have an excess of things, and therefore time. In her old life, she wouldn’t have dared to spend longer than a few minutes in front of a mirror.

After putting on jeans and a T-shirt, slipping on her Keds, and pulling her hair back into a ponytail, she goes and gazes at Suzy, asleep in her toddler bed. Usually, she won’t wake up for another hour or so, but Annie likes to touch her lightly, feel the quiver of her breath through the light cotton pajamas she wears, always in a matching set. Annie likes putting Suzy’s favorite stuffed animal, a dog called Lolly, back into her arms, watching as Suzy kneads its fur in her sleep, sucking her thumb and pressing the toy closer to her heartbeat.